


pink

by eternitayyyy (orphan_account)



Category: No Rome (Musician), The 1975 (Band)
Genre: ALTERNATIVELY, Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Background Slash, Bars and Pubs, Blow Jobs, Boys in Skirts, Consensual Sex, Drunk Dancing, Drunk Sex, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Parties, Pining George, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Dancing, ah yes a good portion of poorly-written angst, but the author burned out before it was completed, fwb roadtrip angsty slowburn ratty fic, hook-ups, i don't know how it happened i'm sorry, just in the toilets nothing kinky, there is so much smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-01-16 07:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21267194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/eternitayyyy
Summary: Pink was on his cheeks, his hair, his fucking perfect mouth. Matty had loved him, once. [ DISCONTINUED ]•Disclaimer: Any similarities to real life people and events other than No Rome and members of The 1975 and their tours and concerts are purely coincidental. The actions, words, and opinions of the characters in the story do not necessarily reflect those of the real people they portray, or those of writer behind this very story.•(CC) eternitayyyy 2020. Feel free to edit, rewrite, and remix as you please, but DO NOT REPOST ORIGINAL TEXT AS YOUR OWN.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is this how it ends?

Rome knew Chris since the beginning of the year. He was adequately charming and made for decent company.

"Does it bother you, when I don't talk?" Rome says, turning his eyes away.

"I don't mind it at all, Guen."

Chris reaches into his pocket, pulling out small daisies. The stems were slightly bruised, but the flowers were fine. Chris fashioned it into a crown with only slightly less care than Rome would have.

"There," Chris said, setting it upon Rome's hair. "You look like a flower prince."

It hurt his cheeks to smile so much, but it was all Rome could give.

He wanted to leave, still; run away from this city and his school. This isn't what he wants, but he deals, fooling himself to thinking he'd learn to love that boy.

It's been so long, though, and he's sure he'd felt more for someone in four hours then he'd had for Chris in four weeks.

/ /

Against all his friends' advice, Matty had gone through three partners in the same span of time Rome got himself a boyfriend.

George hadn't said anything about how these girls were typically short, short-haired, and blonde, with neatly trimmed nails, or how they seemed to share similarities with a certain someone.

George hasn't mentioned how Matty is in a state of proper sobriety only whenever he is around.

It's been some time since, so Matty doesn't think about the blond boy very much. He hadn't thought of other boys very much, either. They all seemed to prefer beating him up, but that's really just how Matty saw it.

"D'you reckon you're overdoing it a bit?"

"Overdoing what, George?"

"This... thing you have. The not being sober. The hook-ups. The  _ distractions _ , Matty"

"I haven't the slightest idea what you could possibly be referring to," Matty mutters around the cigarette between his lips.

George sighs, because Matty was proper lovely, really, with his perfect face and perfect hair, but he was a right prat when he very well wanted to be, like right now.

"I met a girl the other day. Bumped into her, really," George says instead of pushing it.

"Yeah?" Matty looks at him in this vaguely interested manner that was halfway bored.

"Her name's Sherlock. I met her when I picked you up."

"Was she actually named Sherlock?"

"Surprised me, really."

"Was she nice?" Matty inquired with a raised brow.

"Yeah. She was picking up her girlfriend and asked me if I was too."

Matty snorted out a laugh, smoke leaving his lungs. "And what did you say?"

"I said I was picking my best friend up, then she just looked at me odd."

Matty hummed, before his features contorted to one of realization.

"Was she a brunette, by any chance? Just slightly taller than me?"

"You know her?"

"Might be Rachel's girlfriend." Matty's expression shifted to that same one he does when he leaves some things unsaid. He takes a drag from his cigarette distractedly.

"Remind me who Rachel is again?" George prompts, deciding to ignore Matty's attitude for the time being.

"She also works shifts at the school café."

George doesn't speak after that, only humming in affirmation, mostly because he hasn't got much to say, and Matty didn't seem to want him to talk, anyway.

/ /

Rome left the park with his hand clasped in Chris', and though they talked, Rome's mind was somewhere else. Everywhere else but on this boy beside him.

There was something about this park, and the hands around his own, that felt nice. There was a breeze gently ruffling his flower-laden locks. There was somewhat of a promise of rain in the clouds that makes him feel a little bit like floating.

There was something about it, that's so beautiful. Something worth writing about. It's like a terribly mundane memory everyone just has.

It feels so awfully half-forgotten in Rome's mind. In his head, Chris is just another featureless face whose name is a bit of sand slipping away from his hands.

"Chris," Rome says, no longer walking. He takes his hand back and looks down on his shoes.

The grass beneath his feet seemed far more worthy of interest rather than the boy just beyond him.  _ I'm not even sure if Chris is a nickname _ , Rome muses. _Some type of boyfriend I am._

"Does this work for you?" Rome says, finally meeting the boy's dark eyes.

Chris regarded him with a face of amusement and slight confusion. "What do you mean, Guen?"

"This. Us. Is it alright with you?"

"We're doing fine, aren't we?"

"It's not, isn't it?" Rome says with an air of certainty, confidence in the gravity of the fact he posed as a question, ignoring Chris' statement

"Of course it is, Guen. Come on." Chris looked almost pitiful. His brows were set in a frown but the corner of his lip quirked up like he's ready to laugh— ready for the 'I'm kidding' that wouldn't arrive.

"Who the fuck are we kidding? You keep on calling me Guen when I insist you call me Rome. I call you Chris but I don't even know your actual name. I don't even talk to you about my day. All we do is date and kiss and fuck and go to parties as each other's boyfriends. But it doesn't feel real, doesn't it? That's– this isn't– it's just not right."

Chris' expression saddened as Rome spoke.

"It's not, is it?" Chris said, dejected. Rome knew the other must have felt some kind gratitude, deep down.

"You're a nice guy, believe me. You deserve someone who loves you and gives back the same amount of effort you give. We should just break up."

It was getting dark, and a warning rumble from the skies was not enough to ready anyone for the impending rain. Chris pulls him under a gazebo seconds before the rain fell.

"Funny how this is the most you've ever spoken to me at once, Rome," Chris muttered, watching the rain.

Rome looked up at him. It was an honest, light-hearted statement, really. There was no venom to it, and Rome knew this breakup could've gone plenty ways worse than it had.

"We could still be friends?" Rome offers, not really hoping, or particularly pleading, but simply opening a door.

"That's– that's okay."

Rome removes the jacket Chris lent him earlier that day and gives it to him.

"Thank you," Rome mutters with a smile, before tiptoeing to press a chaste kiss onto Chris' cheek. "For everything."

With that said, Rome steps out into the rain, to the world, to the sidewalk, not to go anywhere particularly, but to wait for his best friend's car to arrive.

Rome didn't break a heart, he thinks. He only borrowed it, then returned it perhaps a little worn, but undamaged, because it wasn't to his size.

He doesn't do breaking hearts, not really, because he's a human being who communicates with words and proper logic. He's sure Chris gets it.

The rain soaks his jumper, but Rome's mind is wandering among the clouds, bothered only by the droplets on the lenses of his glasses. In his sentimental head, he relives his childhood until a grey car stops in front of him.

Rome leaves his head, feeling a lot like waking up, his thoughts suddenly turning to indecipherable mush. He doesn't take much time getting into the faux leather seats.

"Guen, what were you doing?" Lock says, hands quickly working to turn the AC off. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"What boyfriend?" Rome asks casually, almost playful, or perhaps mocking would be a way to put it. Lock whipped her head so quickly just to face him.

"Did you—?"

"I did. We did." Rome takes out a cigarette and a lighter as he rolls the windows down. He takes a drag, the smoke warming his lungs.

Sherlock tried to focus on the road to get them out of there as soon as possible.

"Guen, sweetie, be a dear and light me one, because I– you've no idea how distressed this is making me. How are you so calm? Oh gosh, I will never understand you."

Rome lit a cigarette for Lock as she'd asked and passed it to her.

He breathes in the smoke and the scent of new rain and tries again, to make sense of the thoughts in his brain, of the feelings in his chest, and of the song on the radio, as if all those things hold the same weight.

Rome wants it to mean something, those weeks of his life with Chris, but he regards it the same way he would to the passing of time. He finds he doesn't fully regret it, at least, and wonders if that is enough.

It's never really enough when he'd still rather he spent that time with somebody else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unusual meetings

It starts with a shitty party. There's spiked punch, bathrooms full of smoke you could probably get high from, and loud, terrible music.

Rome doesn't know why he's here. It's hosted by someone from his Music class, and for some reason, he was invited. He couldn't find Lock anywhere, but she promised to be there to convince Rome to go. And yet here he was.

A few girls he recognized from Arts, who he's pretty sure are at least tipsy, greeted him as he passed by. He smiled awkwardly back and politely declined their offer of drinks.

He got past the center of the party and went to the sides, recognizing some people from various other classes who, thankfully, aren't paying him much attention.

Rome took out his headphones and played music from Silent Sanctuary, putting it at a volume enough to keep him calm as he anxiously hoped Lock would bother to arrive.

/ /

Matty, however, knows why he's here. He's often invited to parties because he's known enough to be, and he goes to most of them, with or without his friends.

He looks like he belongs where he sits, with a fruity drink in hand and among the 'more known people' table. Faux smiles can be spotted, and honestly, the tension is quite building up here. Surely Matty would get into a fight if not for his best friend, George.

Someone had offhandedly said Matty only hangs 'round the tall guys (his friends) so they'll have his back, which was  _ not _ the case,  _ thank you very much _ . George tapped Matty's shoulder when he saw the other clench his fist.

Conversation ebbed and flowed, with truths and dares tossed about. This eased away the tension before Matty got to start anything.

Matty was dared to flirt and dance with the boy with bleached blond hair and pink headphones by the sidelines. Matty recognized him from Music, but they've yet to talk.

George had whispered to him to go out to cool off and have a smoke after and then they'll head home. Matty nodded, feeling a little too choked up by the loud crowd to say anything.

Matty strides towards the direction of the boy with ease. He doesn't know the other guy's name, so he decides to lean on the wall beside him.

The blond boy eyed him wearily as he approached. Matty wouldn't blame him. He knew he must have looked like trouble to the guy, because he made quite a conscious effort to be the trouble most of the time.

The headphones were a good enough message that the boy didn't want to talk to anyone, much less him, but a dare's a dare, and the whole table's watching.

Matty would rather be in his flat, sleeping, or watching television without actually listening. Maybe he'd even get George to cook something up for them, yet here he was.

/ /

Rome noticed Matty Healy approach, and he spared him a curious glance.

Matty looked truly out of his element like this, Rome thought. He seems awkward to Rome up close.

Rome followed Matty's line of sight, spotting some familiar people. Rome looked back at Matty.

With a severe lack of anything worthy of interest in this godforsaken party, Rome decides to humor the group, hoping to at least get something out of this night.

Matty watched Rome take his headphones off and raise a brow at him. It was a silent dare, Matty supposes.

Matty manages a 'Hello.'

"Matty Healy," Rome starts. Matty didn't know why the boy's deep voice surprised him. "Didn't think they'd send one of them after me." The blond boy scoffs.

"I'm not!" Matty said defensively. "I'm not one of them."

Matty gets this a lot. He gave up trying to explain himself. The wrong crowd is still company, after all. He found himself looking back at George for comfort.

"What do they want this time?" Rome asked.

"This time? This isn't the first?"

With the air of complete nonchalance, Rome replied, "Happens more often than you think. So what is it, then?"

"Dared me to flirt with you, actually," Matty confessed, feeling his cheeks redden.

Rome snorted in amusement. "And what's in it for you?"

"I'm free from them for a bit. Hopefully the entire night."

Rome was intrigued. He didn't know what exactly he expected from Matty, but he was far from it.

"You look like you'd rather be anywhere else." It was an honest observation, with how uncomfortable Matty looked.

"'d love to be."

"Then get the hell out of here."

"It's not that easy."

"How about this: follow me."

Rome walks away. He doesn't elaborate or make room for argument. Matty found him to be a demanding presence.

Completely surrendering his fate to a stranger, Matty found himself following the nameless boy through the dancing crowd.

Rome pushed past sweaty bodies and to the biting cold outdoors. He didn't bother checking whether Healy was behind him. He felt that the other boy would be.

The relief is instant when they reach the porch. There wasn't anyone else outside. It was illuminated only by fairy lights, the moon, and distant flickering street lamps.

The chill is still felt through the fabric of Rome's jumper, but is considerably more welcome than the sticky heat prevalent in the party. Matty wasn't even having fun, and the booze wasn't even good, and he's sure anything else would be better than that.

Matty isn't sure why he felt surprised upon seeing the blond boy take out a pack of cigarettes. It's half empty.

He reaches for his own. It was pretty much out, save for two sticks. He takes one.

The blond boy looked pretty putting the cigarette between his lips and lighting it with a glittery pink lighter. Matty couldn't help an amused smile.

"What are you smiling at, pretty boy?" Rome asked Matty, smoke leaving his mouth in cloudy puffs.

"Pretty boy yourself. I didn't take you for a smoker."

"Looks can be deceiving." Rome shrugs.

Matty puts his cigarette in his mouth and digs around his pockets for his lighter. He finds none.

"Stay still," the blond boy muttered, holding his own cigarette between his fingers. He lights Matty's cigarette successfully with one hand.

Matty takes a drag. "Thanks."

They remain there for a while, flicking embers and ashes to the unkempt grass.

"I never got your name," muttered Matty.

"Rome."

Matty hummed.

"You play covers at school events, don't you? I've gone to a fair share of those," said Rome conversationally.

"Yeah. It'd be great to play our own songs, though," Matty finds himself admitting. "Instead of recycling other people's art through my mouth."

"Poetic," Rome says at Matty's choice of words. The taller boy couldn't tell if it was sarcasm or otherwise. Likely the earlier.

Rome checks his watch.

"I think I should be going."

"Already?" Matty asks. "What time is it?"

"Way past twelve. My brother probably waited up." Rome adjusted his jumper sleeves.

They take some more time to finish off their cigarettes.

"You really gotta go?"

"Not really," Rome says with a small smile. "Since you don't want to leave me alone."

"Can't believe I've never talked to you before. What do you say to a dance, Rome?"

"Trying to flirt with me, Healy?"

Matty pulls out his phone. Slow, upbeat instrumentals flow out. Rome's eyes light up with recognition.

"Nice choice," commented Rome.

"I know right?"

"I bet someone's still watching you."

"They should know that I'll never back down from a dare."

Rome laughs. It warms Matty from the inside out.

They bob their heads to the beat, moving along to the sound, arms awkwardly swaying. Matty reaches for Rome's hand, and they dance terribly. They laughed despite themselves.

"I'm not drunk enough for this," Rome says as Matty twirls him around. The vocals play out.

"Wanna grab drinks?" Matty asked the shorter boy, only half-joking.

"The drinks here are horrid," Rome complains, scrunching his nose cutely as their faces get close.

They keep dancing awkwardly, faces now apart. Matty fails to hide a blush. He tells himself it's just the cold.

The song changes to a slower one. Rome doesn't recognize it, but he quite likes it nonetheless. He throws his arms around Matty's neck and leads them into a sort of slow dance.

"We can get some wine at my place, if you're into that." Rome says, wanting to see that pinkish tint on Matty's cheeks flare up.

"Thought your brother would wait up?" Matty's voice sounded strangled.

"Oh, yeah. He totally would," Rome said, forgetting to sound regretful. He goes on, monotone. "I live alone."

Matty let out an ungraceful disbelieving kind of laugh. "Are you for real?"

"So are you up for wine or not?"

/ /

From the window, a girl named Hanna overheard all this and somehow succeeded in getting back to Matty's table without making a noise that'd alert the two.

Sounds of surprise and awe are heard. George takes advantage of the excitement to get up and leave the table. He checks his phone and sees Matty's texts.

While Hanna gushes out about her (overexaggerated) version of the story, George leaves the party entirely, finding that Matty had already gone.

He starts the drive to their shared flat alone after replying to Matty's messages. He hopes Matty would read them, at least, so worrying about where he's been won't be the first thing George would have to do in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the night gets deeper

They took a cab to Rome's place. It wasn't far. The silent ride wasn't awkward, either, as they listened to the evening radio play.

Rome turned the key to his door, entering the flat with a grateful sigh. The dim lamps were easy on their eyes, casting a soft, warm glow throughout the room.

"Your place is nice," Matty chose to comment. It was styled with a sleek kind of modern that didn't look startlingly cold like it usually would. There was an organized chaos throughout the place. It looked very cozy and lived in.

"Thanks. It's a mess most days."

Rome kicked off his white sneakers and padded through the flat in socks. Matty did the same, keeping his shoes by the door. He shrugged off his faux leather jacket and slung it over his shoulder.

He followed Rome and paused at the dining room to take out his phone, seeing George's messages. He texted his best friend to not wait up and worry about him.

Matty heard the clink of wine glasses being procured, and he invited himself to the kitchen.

The kitchen was also a bit cluttered, and was just as pastel and soft modern as the sitting room was.

White teacups with shallow pools of tea sat sadly in the sink.

Rome passes Matty a glass. He takes it by the stem, and Rome pours him some.

"Pinot noir?"

"Yeah. Hope that's fine with you."

"Very, very fine, actually. Maybe a bit too fine."

Rome laughs and pours some wine for the both of them. He leads them to the sitting room. Matty sits across him on the couch.

"So tell me a bit about yourself," Rome starts, one hand on his phone while the other lightly swirling the wine in its glass. His hands were always busy, Matty noted. They were really pretty hands.

Idly, Matty wonders what it'd be like to hold them. He doesn't allow his mind to think too much into it. They drink.

"This may sound really lame, but I write a lot. Songs, poems. Some of them are too sappy."

"I bet you don't tell everyone that. What with the reputation you seem to uphold."

"Yeah." Matty sips at his wine.

"It's not really something I intend to do," Matty continues to say through the silence. "It's more of just... how people understand things. They can say things not worthy of my time. It's not a language everyone speaks."

Rome hums. "Mind if I put the TV on?"

"Sure." Matty drinks more wine. The television screen plays, but the audio is muted. Its light illuminated their faces.

Secretly, Matty admired how pretty Rome looked. They get another glass of wine.

"How often do you take people home like this?" Matty asked.

"You mean save attractive people from terrible parties? Just the first. Consider yourself special, Healy."

"I'd say you're not so bad yourself," Matty says before sipping on his wine. His eyes land on the television as he listened to the other talk.

/ /

"Where're you from, Rome?"

"The Philippines. It's a bit far off."

"When'd you move to London, then?"

"Nearly 3 years ago? More or less, yeah."

Matty hummed. The television moved without sound. The taller man couldn't help but look at Rome.

"Why're you so... soft?" Matty's mouth moved without thinking about it. He was beyond having no mind to mouth filter at this point. Not that he has much of a filter without any alcohol, anyway.

Rome pauses from sipping his wine and turns to Matty. "Pardon?"

"You look so soft. Why?"

"I just like it."

"Isn't it a bit..." Matty fumbled for words.

"Feminine?" Rome continued.

"Yeah? Nothing wrong with that, of course."

"It's not really so much of a fashion statement as much as it is a preference."

"I think it's cute. You're cute."

Rome blushed a subtle shade of pink. Matty's eyes fall to the other's lips, shiny and stained by wine.

/ /

"Can you play music? It's a bit too quiet," said Matty into the silence they've fallen into. The telly shuts off. Rome fumbled around with his phone, and music began to play from speakers apparently located around the room.

Matty quite liked the song being played and got up. He didn't stumble yet, but he felt the alcohol's effect on his system, just on the drunker side of tipsy.

Rome watched him, confused of Matty's intentions. He drinks. Matty offers Rome a hand.

With a breathy laugh, the shorter boy took it, setting down his glass on the table.

"Think you're drunk enough for more dancing?" Matty asks, flashing the boy a smile.

Rome giggles, and Matty's cheeks grew hot. It's not from the wine, but he tells himself it is.

"I think so," replied Rome.

They dance to the song. It's slow, a bit upbeat, with soothing vocals playing out. Matty sings along whilst dancing with Rome.

When Matty started singing, Rome felt flustered all of a sudden, his actions becoming slightly uncoordinated. He nearly tripped on his feet, but Matty kept him steady.

He knew Matty's voice was beautiful, but hearing it up close without the intention to impress impressed Rome anyway.

The song ends, and they collapse on the couch laughing. Matty's hands were unsteady as he drank from his wine, and he spilled some on his jeans.

"Oh, bugger."

Rome laughed at him, and Matty did too, because Rome just had that effect on him.

Rome brought the glass of wine to his lips, and Matty turned to him. They sat closer to each other now, instead of sitting on opposing ends of the seat. Rome set his own glass down, while Matty took his.

Without warning, Rome pulled off his jumper in one swift motion, and Matty looked away.

At the corner of his eye, he noticed Rome was still clad in a white tank top, and he allowed himself to look.

"Gosh, Rome. Warn a guy next time."

Rome turned to Matty with an innocuous tone that rivalled the look in his eyes. "Didn't think you were such a prude."

"I am alone with you in your space right now, my mind drenched in alcohol after leaving a shitty party," he rambles.

Matty knew they weren't here for a one-time fuck. Rome had invited him to his flat for drinks, but the more alcohol they got in, the more the blond boy had come across as flirty, and Matty was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

Rome was very close to crossing a line. He had slept with people in the past, alright, but not quite like this.

He probably shouldn't have invited Matty, because he wanted him now, and that generally would lead to untoward things when you're drunk.

"We should head off. I'll regret this so much in the morning," Rome said.

"Can I crash on your couch? I don't think I can get home like this."

"You can sleep on my bed. It's big enough for two."

"Taking me to your bed already?" Matty's expression was taunting. Challenging. All hs has to do is take the bait and—

Rome smiled. "If you want it to be like that."

Matty crosses the space separating them.

"And what if I did want that?" Matty dares to whisper against the blond boy's lips.

"All you have to do is ask, love." Rome's eyes flutter shut as they crash their lips together.

/ /

Matty had only ever kissed girls. They often wore lipstick or lip gloss that tasted like sweetness and something. Matty's used to that.

Kissing Rome was new. He tasted like wine and cigarette smoke. His lips were as soft as they looked, and so terribly sinful, biting at Matty's bottom lip like that.

Rome got up, pulling Matty with him. They parted, and Matty hungrily chased Rome's mouth. He wanted something, he just wasn't sure what.

They reach Rome's bedroom, and Matty is pushed down on the bed, Rome climbing his lap and capturing his lips again. The kiss isn't any less messy than the one earlier.

Rome's small hands crept under Matty's cotton shirt. It was rough against the taller boy's skin, and warm.

Matty was unsure of what to do with his hands, so he kept on gripping the sheets beneath them.

When Matty went with Rome, he wasn't expecting he'd be on his bed. He wasn't expecting Rome to be kissing him like that. He didn't expect any of this at all.

Matty's body felt like fire. Rome palmed him through his jeans, and he groaned, knuckles turning white with how tightly he had gripped the sheets.

They part, foreheads resting against each other and panting.

"How much do you want this?" Rome asked Matty breathlessly, fingers fumbling at the fly of Matty's jeans.

"So much. Fuck, please." Matty never begged.

Rome guided Matty to lay down in bed while he grabbed things from the nightstand drawer.

It occurred to Matty that he didn't know what he was doing. He's never had sex with another man before, but somehow, he wasn't worried.

"Is it okay if I leave marks?" Rome whispers against the shell of Matty's ear. Matty's never been asked that before. He finds himself nodding, throwing caution to the wind.

Rome kissed Matty's neck, quickly finding the spot that made him grip Rome's shirt tighter.

The blond boy pulls down Matty's jeans and takes it off, along with Matty's pants. Matty gasped as the cold air hit his skin.

The fact that Rome is still fully dressed made Matty shiver. He'd never felt this exposed before.

Rome had his mouth on Matty's neck and his hand wrapped around Matty's arousal, and Matty was lost in sensation, muttering a litany of curses and 'Rome, Rome, Rome, please'.

Matty was close, he was sure. He was nearly there, then Rome stopped suddenly. Tears had gathered at the corners of Matty's eyes, and he let out an embarrassing whine.

"Shh," Rome had whispered to Matty, careful not to touch him. "I'll take care of you, okay?"

Before Matty could even process it, Rome's warm mouth was around his length, and Matty let out a noise that he'd be embarrassed of for nights to come.

Rome was soon beside Matty after, tying off the condom as tossing it into the bin beside his bed.

"You okay?"

"More than fine, thanks," muttered Matty with closed eyes, sighing deeply.

"Be back in a bit." Rome pressed a quick kiss on the corner of Matty's lips.

Matty didn't know how long he laid there, but Rome had pulled the blanket over him. His legs felt like jello and his mind probably had turned to mush. He's sure he's falling asleep soon.

The blond boy had come back from a shower dressed in sleepwear. He got in bed with Matty, handing him his pants and white pyjamas to wear.

"How you feeling?"

"I think I forgot my name for some of that."

Rome laughs, like he had expected it. Matty had a lot of questions to ask, but he was drunk and sleepy. It had also occurred to him that he hadn't returned the favor.

Rome grumbled about school tomorrow, not at all minding Matty's short replies.

They both fell asleep with Matty's arm slung across Rome's torso in an approximation of a hug.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after, and George comforting Matty.

Matty woke up with a terrible headache and the taste of alcohol in his mouth.

He was in an unfamiliar room. It was dim, but the white clock on the nightstand said 10:03. Matty was sure he's late to class.

Beside the clock was a glass of water. He takes it and drinks, before taking the light-colored sticky note sat beside it.

> '_went to school already. food's in the fridge. clothes just lying about. help yourself to anything. your phone's charging in the sitting room. text me?_
> 
> _rome _ _xx'_

A number was scrawled in the same squiggly handwriting that Matty can quite accurately describe as cute.

> _'ps. lock the _ _door when u go_ _'_

Matty felt too disconcerted to properly react. Against his body's will, he got out of the bed.

Instead of jeans, he was dressed in pyjamas he's sure he didn't own. They were white and a little short for Matty's already small form.

Matty surveyed the room. It was filled with personal items, so surely it was someone's own bedroom. A bunch of photographs hung above the headboard, along with unlit fairy lights.

A light blue electric guitar hung against the wall, next to a keyboard.

Matty wracked his mind for memories and found not much but haze. His head still hurt.

He easily found the kitchen as the flat's layout was similar to his and George's. He glanced at the sink and there was a pink mug with a small pool of coffee left in it.

Matty's mind races for a memory and remember the clinks of wine glasses and a boy's charming smile.

The next thing Matty thought was _'Did we fuck?'_, because if you're in some stranger's home, got hammered, and happened to be Matty Healy, you probably got to fuck whoever lived there.

Matty often leaves before whoever he's with wakes. Matty also had often, no, _only_ slept around with girls.

Now he wasn't in a girl's house, and he didn't get to leave first.

**/ /**

Matty ran to the loo, emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet, the hand still clutching the sticky note keeping his hair out of his face.

He washed out his mouth and face on the sink tap and looked at his reflection. He noticed bruises on his neck and inspected them, pulling down the collar of his tee to see how far down it went.

He remembers Rome's voice, and his warm hands, and the messy kiss.

"Fuck."

Matty stumbled out of the bathroom, a little light-headed suddenly, and went back to the room he woke up in. He grabbed his jeans which he found were rested on a white fluffy chair sat by a table full of things.

He switched out of the pajamas he wore and tossed it into the laundry basket. He grabbed his black leather jacket and wore it in an attempt to cover up the marks, which he had drunkenly agreed to just the past night.

Matty stuffed the lilac sticky note in his jeans after reading over it one more time. He saw his phone charging in the sitting room as promised, and the first thing he did was text George.

**/ /**

> **Matty**
> 
> _'Im alive'_
> 
> _'I'm put of change'_
> 
> _'*out'_
> 
> **Georgie <3**
> 
> _'im in class'_
> 
> _'drink water'_
> 
> _'hungover, aren't you'_
> 
> _'address now i'll pick you up'_
> 
> **Matty**
> 
> _'Don't bring the others'_

For good measure, Matty added:

> _'pls?'_

Because George can very well tease Matty by doing the opposite of what he's asked.

Matty took all the things he owned and left the flat. After sending George the address, he went downstairs, holding his jacket flush against his skin to shield him against the chill.

**/ /**

Matty waited for George for a good fifteen minutes or so. He fumbled for a cigarette lighter that was never there, while his head ached for memories he was yet to uncover.

George stopped the car right in front of him, and Matty got in the passenger's seat like he always would.

"How'd you get out?" asked Matty, pushing back stray curls from his own face.

"Said it was a emergency at home. Miss Lyra said you could probably take care of yourself just fine. I forgot she knew we shared a flat."

Matty let out a humourless laugh and took out a box from his pocket.

"Have you got a lighter?"

George hands him a black lighter. Matty frowns, but takes it and lights the last cigarette stick he had. Matty takes a drag and blows the smoke out the window, watching it dissipate into the air.

George starts the car, and Matty kept smoking. The pass the stick between each other wordlessly after Matty blatantly ignored all of George's attempts at conversation.

**/ /**

"I'm starved," Matty says as the streets started looking familiar.

George turns a different corner than he usually does, and Matty smiles.

The taller of the two finished the cigarette in the parking lot, while Matty leaned on the car and gazed longingly at the place's menu.

They're greeted by a lady whose name is Mary or something. Matty knows her face but never remembers her name, but he's half-sure George does.

Matty picks a booth, — their booth, — and George orders for them, and they sat in that brunch place, familiar, like wearing your favorite shirt again.

George tells him about school, then Matty starts talking about the party. George listens, because of course he does.

Rome hadn't come up in conversation yet. George didn't tell Matty about the rumors, because Matty's never one for those things anyway, and Matty liked leaving the oversharing to when he's a lot less sober.

The sun cast its rays over the booth Matty and George sat on, casting a golden glow on Matty's milky skin.

George is used to seeing Matty with that carelessly beautiful look and that crooked smile, and he's used to feeling warm watching him talk.

He calls that warmth what it is, - _love_, - because Matty Healy is lovely and wonderful and George wasn't sure how he'd be without the shorter boy.

It's not something he says out loud, though, but he shows it anyway, wondering if Matty will ever decipher the wordless language he speaks.

George pays for brunch, and Matty promises to pay him back when he can, but George knows the shorter boy will forget anyway, so he says "Sure," instead of "You don't have to."

George drove them home.

**/ /**

George takes up the entire couch, while Matty grabbed warmer clothes. It's less black and white and more comfortable clothing.

George watches Matty lay down on the carpet, like he would some days. He notices the bruises blooming across Matty's neck.

"You really slept with him?"

Matty's head perked up. His cheeks bloomed pink.

"I think? It's still hazy in my head, but I wasn't totally wasted when it happened."

George didn't immediately reply.

"Stacey's spread some rumours out. Amanda didn't show up to school."

Matty sat up suddenly. "What's it about?"

"The blond boy."

"Rome."

"You must really like him if you know his name."

Matty spluttered. "No! He was just... good company, that's all."

George gave Matty a look.

"Not in that way, you twat!" Matty makes it a point to smack George's arm. "He was nice. Even invited me for some actually good wine."

"He's the first boy you've slept with."

"If you're going to be judging me for sleeping with a bloke, I'll just forget you ever existed."

"You know I wouldn't. I know you, mate. These people talking... they don't. I know you'll say it's not their job to know the goings-on of your life, but let's face it — They make it their job anyway."

"Then let them talk. It's just a one-time thing. How is it any different from the others?"

"Sure, it doesn't affect you, Matty. They'll be picking on him even more."

Matty went silent.

_"This time? This isn't the first?"_

_"Happens more often than you think..."_

"D'you reckon I should do something about it?" Matty's voice was small, recalling his experiences with bullying in the past.

Sensing the change in Matty's mood, George replied, "I reckon you should rest. Come on."

George gets up. Matty follows him to their room. They turned the AC on, and George lies down on his side of the bed. Matty does the same, closing his eyes and sighing.

He lets George embrace him, because he knows that George knows he wouldn't tell the taller boy he felt cold. Matty tried to keep his head quiet until he fell asleep.

**/ /**


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An insight into Rome's mind, and what of Matty's state.

"Guen, honey, are you okay?"

Rome raised his head from the desk. Class was yet to start, and Rome left Matty in his flat, deciding to skip any awkwardness by not waking him up.

"No," he said, looking up at Lock. "You," Rome raised an accusing finger at the girl before him. "You didn't show up at the party!"

"You look like you had fun without me. Tell me what you did!"

"Nothing."

The brunette frowned. "Oh, Guen, come on. None of that."

"Well, one thing." Rome continued with a completely straight face: "Matty Healy."

"Rome, oh my... What?" Lock sat beside the blond boy and lowered her voice. "Not kidding?"

Rome nodded slowly. He rearranged the flower crown on his head.

She looked around to see if anyone was listening, before leaning in to whisper.

"So the rumours... they're true?"

"What rumours?"

"Matty Healy took you home. I heard some things..."

"What sort of things?"

"Amanda didn't go to school and Stacey's spreading things about you, saying you drugged Healy or what."

Rome frowned. "Those aren't even close to the truth."

"I know. It's completely unrealistic. Tell me what happened."

"He didn't take me home, for a start. I invited him to my flat for wine."

Lock looked at him with wide eyes. "Seriously? You lucky puppy. I knew you'd be a natural charmer."

"You flatter me too much."

Lock leaned to whisper conspiratorially. "Was it as good as they all say it is?"

Rome gawked at Lock and gave her a playful shove.

"What did you do then?"

"Why do you care so much?"

"Oh I don't know... maybe because it's Matty Healy who you just fucked. That's a big deal!"

"How is that a big deal? He's not any different, is he?"

"Well Matty is straight, for a start–"

"No, he isn't. Not with how he looked at me last night."

"Well yeah... we got that. It's just, Healy always slept with girls and broke their hearts and shit."

"It's a one night stand, Sher. Not a big deal."

Mx. Agatha entered the room before Lock got any more words out. In the middle of the class, Lock noticed Rome dozing off over his notes. Short, poetic drafts line the corner of the pages.

Sherlock lightly shook the blond boy awake. She smiles at him, while he acts like nothing happened.

**/ /**

Lunch slowly rolls by, and Rome is dragged by Lock to her car, and she drives him to the campus café.

She gets them a table for two, and Rome's sure the waitress mistakes them for a couple until Lock starts flirting with her.

A few minutes later, they got tea, cookies, and the waitress' number. (No boy will ever match Sherlock Merryweather when it comes to picking up the ladies.)

"So when are you telling me the details, Guen?"

Rome groaned. "Leave it alone, Sher."

"How sober were you, then?"

"I was tipsy. He was probably just a bit less."

"So tell me then, what were you thinking when you invited _him_ to your house?"

"Well he looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. He invited me to drinks first, to be fair."

"So who topped?"

Rome nearly choked on his cookie.

"You're _so_ obscene. How do I put up with you? You're not making me talk."

Rome then proceeded to stuff his face full of cookies with an indignant expression, while Lock laughed at their silliness.

They didn't talk much further after that, so Sherlock resorted to catching the waitress's eye and sending her the sweetest of smiles.

They left the café eventually, falling back to talking about schoolwork and more parties Lock would drag Rome off to, and parted to get to their next classes.

**/ /**

When Music class came around, the blond boy glances at Matty's seat and wonders how he is.

School's over, but Rome was afraid to come home. He sighed as he slumped in Lock's car, bemoaning the dread that gripped him and the memories that will flood him once he steps in that flat.

He eventually had to go, and the blond boy found himself in front of his flat half an hour later. He stuck the key in the keyhole and replaced the fingerprints on the doorknob with his own, and opened the door.

Despite his apparent refusal to divulge details, Rome could remember a lot of last night.

He could remember how Matty's chapped lips had felt melding against his own. He could remember the bruises he made against the other's pale skin. He could remember Matty's voice, the sounds he made— Rome stopped his train of thought.

It felt different, knowing he kissed someone who wanted to kiss him on that couch. Knowing he took someone to his bed in the next room. Knowing Matty had walked around this space without him.

As if basking in the new light Rome saw his flat in, he touched nothing. Not yet.

It was almost an illusion.

The charger by the table. The pyjamas in the laundry. The sheets on the bed.

_Nearly three years and nothing has changed,_ Rome muses. Same old place. Same old habits. Just different people occasionally taking up the space.

Rome allows himself to fall to the unkempt bed. It smelled a bit like Matty.

He digs his pocket for his phone. There wasn't a single new message.

He didn't expect any, but hey, you know. Just in case.

**/ /**

Matty wakes up alone. He always did. George is an early riser, and knew better than to try and wake his friend.

Matty dreamt of something distant. He couldn't wrap his head around it, but he recalled the depth of Rome's eyes in excruciating detail, if only for a second.

It's dark out. Matty gets up and finds George.

The taller man had been smoking by the balcony. Matty easily slipped to his side, leaning on the railings.

Their eyes meet, and George offers a silent greeting. Matty steals the cigarette from George's lips and finishes it, while George watched, unamused.

The taller boy lights another cigarette. They pass it between each other in the same comfortable silence, ever familiar, like wearing your own coat.

**/ /**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes and they meet again. It's all too familiar.

It's a few months after, and Matty found himself alone. George opted out of this party, to Matty's dismay, as he couldn't get fully hammered without a designated driver.

As the adverts say, 'Drink responsibly'. To Matty, this means: as long as someone's responsible, get drunk. And the only responsible someone isn't here. How disappointing.

This didn't stop him from drinking bad alcohol and picking up some pretty girl, however, but eventually, the pretty girl had to go, so Matty, once more, ended up alone.

Rachel, who happened to be a somewhat friend of his, encounters him and invites him to their table with the offer of company and something better to drink.

Matty follows, because Rachel was a nice girl who probably wouldn't lead him to something that'd worry George too much. George always fussed over Matty too much.

Rome's eyes meet Matty's, and recognition flashes in their eyes.

Sherlock invites her girlfriend to dance as soon as Rachel returned to the table, which left Matty and Rome alone together immediately.

**/ /**

"Hi," Rome says as Matty settles down on a seat adjacent the other boy.

"Hey. How've you been?"

"School's been shit, the usual. And you, love? What's taking up your time?"

"I've been writing, actually. Composing some songs," Matty says casually. He was somehow more open to Rome about his writing than he usually is to anyone.

"Sang an original yet?" Rome replies with interest.

"Not yet," Matty says, picking up a drink for himself. He takes a sip. "Maybe soon."

Rome nods, then looks around. His eyes were searching for the girls, who currently are lost in the crowd.

_He looks pretty under the neon lights_, Matty thought. Rome's hair is a much wavier pale bleached blond, now tinged with pink.

"Nice hair," Matty comments, making Rome turn to him. "The pink looks good on you."

The blond boy smiles. It wasn't as reserved as how he'd used to. "Thanks."

Matty's eyes fall to the column of Rome's neck as the other drank the last of the drink in his hand.

"You got a tattoo?"

Rome sets his drink down to show him the pattern better.

"Yeah. My best friend, Lock, convinced me to do it. What do you think?"

"I'd say you don't look like you're for breaking rules. I think it suits you."

Rome smiled. "I've been told I'm full of surprises."

Matty thought Rome to be much more attractive because of the ink on his neck, not only from how it looked, but the implication behind it. It took a good ounce of Matty's self-control not to reach out and trace it with his fingers.

**/ /**

Rachel and Lock return not too long after dancing, sharing fond looks and smiles before taking back their seats.

"Hey, Matty. Sorry for leaving you so suddenly. I see you've met Guen!" Rachel says.

"Guen?" Matty asked, looking lost.

"My first name's Guendoline," the blond boy explains. "Everyone else got used to calling me Guen, even though I insist they call me Rome. I just kinda gave up."

"So can I keep calling you Rome then?"

"Yeah, 'course."

"I'm Lock," said the brunette to Matty. "And you're Matty Healy. I'm Rachel's girlfriend."

"So how'd you guys feel about drunk never have I ever?" pipes Rachel in excitedly.

"Sure," Rome says readily, while Matty hesitates.

"I can't get drunk. No one's driving me."

"Your boyfriend not around to carry you home?"

"Don't call George that, Chel."

"He picks you up at work and sleeps in the same bed as you but he's not your boyfriend? Sounds fake but okay."

"I'm driving you all home," Sherlock interrupts. "I'm capping at two shots. You can play all you like."

Rachel grins and kisses Lock's cheek. "You're the best, babe." Lock blushed like mad.

"Since Matty's our little guest, I reckon he chooses who asks first. Sound fair?"

Lock and Rome nodded.

"Uh, Rome?"

"Alright. Never have I ever... been to America?"

Rachel and Rome drank.

"Okay, my turn," said Rachel. "Never have I ever gone skinny dipping."

They all drink except for Rome.

"Seriously, hun?"

"Guen is a baby, Lock. It's obvious," Rachel says.

"You should try it this summer," Lock says. "We could have a road trip to somewhere. Maybe we could even bring Matty here."

"Sounds great."

"Okay, this is my last shot," Sherlock announces, raising her shot glass. "Never have I ever made out with someone of the same sex."

They all drink.

"Oooh, Matty?" Rachel says with wide eyes. "Who'd have thought? Was it your not-boyfriend?"

Rome eyed Matty curiously. The dark-haired boy's cheeks burned a pretty pink from alcohol and perhaps embarrassment.

"No, no. This's actually kinda funny. It was Rome."

"Oh. Oh wow. Guen really out here charming boys left and right, huh? We were gone for like ten minutes and-"

"That was months ago, Rachel. I didn't even know you then," Rome says defensively.

"Oh my gosh. That was like, The first party I convinced Rome to go to," Lock says.

"You were a no-show, though!"

"You did fine on your own, I think," Sherlock says with a wink.

"Okay, okay, here's one. Never have I ever gotten high."

All three of them drank.

"I think, Matty, that you want to get us all drunk," Rachel said.

"I was curious about _someone_ here who keeps on surprising me."

Rome smiled. "Maybe if you stop looking at me like I'm so innocent you could actually come up with creative questions."

"No, no. I think I want to get drunk."

"And stupid," quipped Rome.

"That too."

"Alright, then," Rome says with a smirk. "Never have I ever had sex where I'm not supposed to."

Rome drank after Matty did, and Matty's eyes were wide with disbelief.

Rome giggled. "You look stupid."

"Are you seeing this?" Matty asked the girls.

"I take back what I said," sighed Rachel.

Lock had a bored expression on her face. "He'd probably blow you in the stalls if you asked _really_ nicely."

"Oh... kay. TMI, Lock. Only Matty needed to hear that," grumbled the short blonde girl to her girlfriend.

They play more rounds until they're giggling themselves silly. Rome was heavily leaning onto Matty, who had an arm wound around the shorter boy's shoulder. Lock decides it's enough.

"Alright everyone, home time. It's getting real late, and I don't want Rachel's parents to be too mad at me. Come on now."

"I think... carry me to my flat," said Rome with a groan.

"You're not the one with most amount of shots taken, Guen. You're not qualified."

"And Rachel is?"

"She's my girlfriend. You're nobody."

"You wound me," Rome said dramatically.

"I'd carry you home but I don't think I could even stand on my own," Matty says, words slurred.

"That's sweet of you, love. It's the thought that counts."

They stumbled their way out of the party. Lock still had to get her car from the parking area, so the three waited outside.

Rachel sat on the porch steps, a jacket two sizes too big hanging on her shoulders.

Matty threw up on a patch of grass, feeling only a little regretful of the amount of booze he let in his system, but not of the fact that this was someone else's patch of grass. The unkempt greenery deserved it, perhaps.

Rome held the crouched boy's messy hair back, rubbing the other's back soothingly as Matty emptied the contents of his belly.

"I feel-" Matty leaned onto Rome, stumbling a bit. "Like shit."

Rome looks up at him, sympathetic. His hand, ever small and warm, remained rested on Matty's back.

Sherlock drives by,

"You boys okay?"

"Fine," said Matty, who was not fine.

"He's not," Rome adds helpfully.

They pile into the car. Rachel takes the passenger's seat, while Matty and Rome are at the back, pressed against each other closer than acquaintances should.

"George is probably sleeping," slurred Matty woefully as Lock starts driving. "He'll be so mad if I wake him like this."

"Does he _actually_ get mad at you?" Rachel asked, not bothering to turn to him.

"No. Jus... really extra grumpy in the morning. 'nd worried. I don' like it when he's like that. Frowning at me like 'm some kid."

"Rachel's with her parents so she's out of the question. You can-"

"Stay at mine," Rome continues.

"Thank you."

"Then I'm dropping you boys off first."

**/ /**

They arrive at Rome's flat. They nearly trip on the pavement, but they got into the building, eventually.

After stumbling their way up the steps, Rome sticks the key in the doorknob, taking longer than he would have when sober.

The door opens, and the flat is ever warm, ever welcoming. The two step inside.

"Make yourself at home, love."

They kick off their shoes and Rome shrugs off his coat. Matty sits on the couch while Rome went directly to the kitchen.

He comes back with a glass of water.

"Drink."

Matty does so gratefully, washing out the horrible taste left in his mouth.

The blond boy joins Matty on the couch. It's silent, and Matty feels as if there's nobody else but them in the world.

"You can sleep in my room, if you want."

"I think I wanna sit here for a while."

"Alright."

Matty looks at Rome under the dim lights and recalls another night long past. In his hazy mind, Rome looked beautiful, and Matty was drawn.

It feels a bit like he's dreaming, but that's just the alcohol.

"We should sleep," Rome says, looking at the time.

"We should," replied Matty, but neither moved.

"You're staring."

"Can't help it. You're- you're really pretty."

Rome turned his face away. "Let's just go to bed."

Matty agreed and followed Rome to his room. He sat on the bed and found himself looking up at Rome, his gaze falling to Rome's parted lips momentarily. Matty's throat suddenly felt dry as the feeling in his chest intensified tenfold.

**/ /**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunken decisions and smoky conversations during peaceful hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this gets pretty detailed. If reading smut makes you uncomfortable, skip to the end.

Matty tried to avert his eyes, but noticed Rome had been looking at him too.

"Would it be a bad decision to kiss you?" Matty asked Rome, meeting the blond boy's eyes.

"It wouldn't be the worst one you'll make," Rome replied.

Rome crossed the gap between them, Matty pulling him close until the smaller boy was on his lap.

Rome's fingers threaded through Matty's curls and their bodies were pressed close to each other. Rome gasped as their erections brush and they pull away momentarily.

Matty tugs off Rome's jumper, his cold hands accessing heated skin, and Rome whimpered at the contact. Matty's shirt comes off next.

Rome slowly laid Matty down and kissed the other's neck distractedly as his hands worked to undo both of their jeans.

Their hands were exploring each other's bodies. Matty came to like the feeling of Rome's small, warm hands all over him.

"How'd you want me?" asked Rome as they part for air.

"I've haven't– I've never–"

"Do you want to?"

"Fuck, yes. Yes please."

"Bottom drawer," Rome sighs out, laying on his front.

Matty hands the blond boy the lube and condoms. He watches Rome in awe as the smaller boy prepared himself. Their eyes meet.

"Can I?"

**/ /**

With light guiding touches and soft whispers, Rome had two of Matty's fingers inside him, making him gasp.

"Am I hurting you?" asked Matty, ever so careful.

"No, fuck—" Matty's fingers stilled to listen to Rome speak. "Add another. I can take it."

Matty hesitated, but obliged, lubricating his fingers again and pushing past the ring of muscle and doing just as Rome had instructed.

"I think— I think I'm ready now," Rome gasped out after some time, the impatient curl in his gut just shy of unbearable.

Matty slowly slipped his fingers out. Rome whimpered at the loss, squeezing around nothing.

"How do we go about this, then?" asked Matty, feeling a bit awkward but no less excited.

"Would it be okay if I ride you?" Rome said breathily.

"Yeah, fuck. That's– that's more than okay."

"Lean back on the headboard for me, love," Rome said as he sat up slowly.

Matty did as he was told, and Rome takes some time to kiss him before leaning back against the curly-haired boy's thighs and holding onto the headboard to support his weight.

The blond boy sank down onto Matty with sluggish movements, his pink-tinted hair a curtain falling over his brown eyes. His face contorts slowly as he lowers himself onto Matty's cock.

Matty watched Rome with a drunken sort of fascination, holding back moans as the heat engulfed his prick, taking small gasps of breath and doing his best to keep quiet.

Rome pace speeds up, and Matty felt like he was on fire when Rome's dazed eyes met his. The other boy's lips were parted and so prettily pink and Matty couldn't bear to look away.

The noise that left the smaller boy's mouth caught Matty's attention more than anything. The tense silence previously hanging over the room waited for them to stop holding back the sounds from their throat.

Rome squeezed around him, eyes never leaving his, and Matty let out a noise. The blond boy smiled down at him and _oh_ did Matty want to kiss that smug smile off Rome's lips.

Matty couldn't do that as Rome still held onto the headboard and kept their faces apart. Instead, he thrusted upwards, meeting Rome in the middle as the other sank down onto him.

"Fuck," Rome gasped out, movement stuttering. He lifted himself up once more. "Do that again."

Matty let out a grunt as he did so, basking in the sounds that left Rome's throat. The noises they made were obscene as their pace grew erratic and uncoordinated.

"Matty, fuck. Fuck me. Please, need you– ah..."

Matty laid Rome down with little trouble, and Rome looked up at him with half lidded eyes.

"This okay?" Matty asks. Rome nodded and wrapped a leg around Matty, bringing their bodies closer, taking Matty deeper into him.

Rome was certain his blunt nails dug crescent moons on Matty's back as the other hit his spot and made him moan. Matty paused, worried he might've hurt Rome.

"Fucking– move," Rome said with urgency, his words unintentionally coming off as commanding. "Faster. Don't make me beg."

Matty did so, a little thrown off by Rome's tone, but not necessarily in a bad way. If anything, it spurred him on with the desire to do as he was told.

Everything started to blur after that. Matty found purchase on Rome's neck, muffling his own sounds as the smaller boy gasped and moaned.

In the dim lights of the room, there was Matty, and there was Rome. For a small infinity, they clutched each other's bodies like it may mean something a little more, — as they came down from their highs, finding themselves terrifyingly sober.

**/ /**

They take a while to pull themselves together, and pull away from each other, suddenly overcome with a tense silence.

Matty put on his shirt and pants after cleaning them both up. Rome got up and donned nothing else but a large fluffy robe.

Rome lights a cigarette, taking a drag before wordlessly offering it to Matty.

"Thanks," Matty replied, taking it between his fingers and breathing in the smoke.

The two sat across each other in the balcony, an ashtray on the table between them. Matty felt a little bad as he noticed Rome squirm in his seat, seemingly restless.

"How was that for a first?" Rome finds himself asking as he uncrossed and crossed his legs yet again.

"Different. Good different," Matty admits.

Matty looked at Rome, _truly_ looked at him for the first time since he felt sober, with the smoke in his eyes and the pink that invaded his cheeks, and thought he was beautiful.

When Rome met his gaze, Matty felt his cheeks warm.

"You're staring again."

"You're beautiful," Matty says simply, as if it's the most obvious thing.

"But I'm not a girl."

"Who says only girls get to be beautiful? If things that aren't alive can be called beautiful, I don't see why boys couldn't be beautiful too."

Rome's smile was one of amusement. "Of course."

They ended up lighting another cigarette which they shared, gently burning their lungs and exhaling the smoke into the night.

"That night," Rome starts, voice hesitant. "After that night, and you skipped on school. There were rumors, you know? I was wondering if they ever reached you at all."

"They did. George told me about them."

"George? The one Rachel called your boyf–"

"He's not. George is just my best mate."

"You seem defensive," Rome laughs. "You literally had your dick in my arse minutes ago, Matty. I–"

"He really isn't!" Matty says insistently.

"I– I'm just saying!" The rest of Rome's statement dissolved into a fit of giggles. Matty's mouth treacherously curved up into a little smile, against the impression of annoyance he tried to keep.

"How'd it go for you, then? The rumors?" Matty said before the silence settled for too long, passing the cigarette to Rome.

The blond boy takes a drag, resting his head on his knuckle as he tapped the ash onto the tray with another hand.

"People like to talk. Everyone tends to talk too much, don't they?" Rome paused, looking at Matty. "The rumors were pretty short-lived when they realized they wouldn't get a reaction out of me."

"Do they mess with you a lot? You've mentioned it before."

"You remember?" Rome asked, more amused than surprised.

"Yeah. I felt bad because I knew there'd be someone watching. You got involved with me, and you can get shit for that. Kind of fucks with your head, doesn't it?"

"It was easier to ignore them than to ignore my friend. She wanted to know all about it."

"Who's this friend?" Matty asks, leaning forward to take the newly-lit cigarette.

"Lock. She wouldn't stop asking me shit about that night. She enjoyed flustering me lots, I think."

Matty takes a drag from the cig, taking the time to admire Rome's features in the dim lighting. He wouldn't have any of this tomorrow. Maybe never again.

"I get it."

"Pardon?"

"Why she flusters you so much. You're cute when you're all flustered and pink in the face, after all."

Rome's cheeks burn just as Matty had predicted. Matty adored the little furrow on his brow and way he hid behind the hair over his eyes.

"Dickhead," Rome finally says, getting up to steal the cigarette away from Matty's lips and finishing it, extinguishing the embers into the ashtray.

"I wasn't done with that!" Matty protests, but Rome cuts him off, pressing their open mouths close and exhaling the smoke into Matty's lungs.

"Now you are," says Rome, looking up at Matty and licking his lips. "Let's go to sleep, yeah?"

Matty exhaled slowly, the smoke dissipating in the cold that he'd only begun to feel. Rome had gone inside, and Matty took one last look at the hues the sky was only beginning to reveal before following the smaller boy.

**/ /**

Matty hesitantly laid down beside Rome, pulling just enough of the duvet over him. And yet, he still felt the cold. He turned away from Rome, shut his eyes and begged his mind for sleep.

The other boy shifted beside Matty, a hesitant motion enough to make the covers shift, and the curly-haired boy cursed himself for flinching.

Matty relaxes when Rome's fingertips connect with his back, a new and yet foreign expression. George did that a lot.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah." Matty's voice seemed louder in the silence.

The AC hums and stutters, and Matty felt his heart sink. _Of course, Matty. What the hell did you expect? He wouldn't do that. He isn't Geo—_

But Matty was pulled out of his train of thought as Rome's arms wound around his torso, easily pulling his body close. Matty sighed a breath he'd unknowingly held, a soft sound in the silence, and one of content.

"Better?"

Matty merely nodded.

**/ /**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not used to writing this sort of content so sorry if there might be awkward bits.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matty gets home and ends up confessing something.

Matty woke up earlier than Rome did. He was disoriented, with the familiar feeling of waking up in somebody else's home.

In his hungover mind, he recognized Rome, but was unsure how he got here. Panic sets off in his head when he realized what he'd done.

He got out of bed, careful not to wake the other, and picked up his jeans, taking little time to observe the place as he did.

Matty finds his phone in his pocket, but it doesn't turn on. He finds spare change this time, thankfully.

He pays the bathroom a quick visit, assessing his reflection. His neck was marked and his hair was thoroughly mussed.

Matty washes his face and tries to fix his hair before he exits.

As he walks out, his eyes meet Rome's, and Matty was sure his expression was that of a deer caught in headlights.

His voice fails him.

"Morning," said Rome, cheeks blooming pink. He was clad in a light yellow tee and pants, and none more than that. "I thought you'd gone."

"Just about to. Um. Thanks. For letting me stay the night." Matty practically ran out the door, nearly slamming it after him.

Rome looks at the door like he couldn't quite believe what had happened.

**/ /**

Matty caught a bus headed home in a nearby station, sighing in relief as he had a seat. He couldn't be bothered to feel embarrassed about the hickeys as his head had hurt too much.

He gets off the station nearest his and speedwalks the best he can with a hungover head.

"Where were you?" George asked Matty as soon as the curly-haired boy entered their flat.

"You could have texted me, you know," continued George when Matty didn't reply. "I was waiting up for you until midnight."

"I stayed at someone's," Matty finally says, grabbing a pitcher from the fridge and serving himself cold water.

George went to the kitchen to make Matty breakfast, sending concerned glances when he could. He served it to Matty, taking the seat beside him.

"Why'd you look so distressed, mate?"

Matty picks at his food, frowning down at it in mismanaged spite. He stabs a fork through the pancake and chews it frustratedly.

"Did you get into a fight? Your face is fine. What's wrong? Don't leave me guessing, Matty."

"I don't know, George. I don't know."

Matty looked like he got laid, that was obvious, but George was puzzled about why he's so stressed out.

George lets Matty eat his breakfast in peace, choosing to turn his attention to idle chores he was sure Matty wouldn't bother himself with doing.

**/ /**

Matty was kind enough to leave his plate in the sink before fleeing to his bedroom.

George finds time to put the kettle on before he proceeds to finish tidying up. He makes Matty some tea before going to his room.

He sets the mug on the nightstand and sat beside Matty, who was turned away from him.

Matty felt George's presence, but ignored it until he felt the weight on the mattress shift.

"I don't wanna talk, George."

"I know," George says, knowing full well that Matty will be telling him eventually. "I made you tea."

"Leave it."

"It'll get cold. C'mon now."

Begrudgingly, Matty got up and sat himself beside George, legs folded underneath himself.

George passes Matty the mug, and Matty takes it, fully wrapping his cold hands around the hot mug.

"Matty! Bloody hell." George took the mug back, holding it by the rim and managing not to spill any.

Matty's hands had turned red and were shaking. His bottom lip trembled and looked like he was holding back tears.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice," George said softly. "You could have seriously hurt yourself, you know?"

George wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, who leaned onto him.

He pet Matty's hair, raking his nails over his friend's scalp to soothe him. Matty's breathing evens out.

"I fucked Rome last night," Matty blurts out.

"Who?"

"Gomez. The short blond boy from Music."

"Haven't you hooked up before?"

"Yeah. It's just– I fucked a boy. Properly. It's pretty fucking terrifying and I don't know. I don't know, George."

"Nothing wrong with that, you know."

"Yeah. I'm just– It's like–"

"Figuring yourself out all over again?"

"Somethin' like that."

George kept on scratching Matty's scalp, tugging gently at his curls until he breathed evenly again.

"Do you want your tea now?"

Matty hums and nods against George's chest.

George hands Matty the mug. It's amusing, how much smaller Matty's hands were compared to his.

Matty was girlish and petite compared to most boys their age. He had to compensate for so much, wanting to prove something to their unforgiving society, and, unknowingly, himself.

Matty's always covering himself in lies and leather, fortifying his borders with sweet talk and biting remarks, putting veils over every mirror until he's practically unrecognizable.

George wasn't complicated like that. He didn't have to be, because unlike Matty, he wasn't vulnerable.

Where George is sensible and practical, Matty is not. Where Matty is impulsive and reckless, George is not. Where Matty is dramatic and irrational, George is not.

Where Matty is brave enough to speak his mind, George is not.

And that's fine, because Matty not knowing that George loves him is one less complication in Matty's constantly overthought life.

"Better?" asked George as he left his state of reverie.

Matty nods.

George lets Matty go, and the smaller boy goes back to bed.

**/ /**

Rome laid down and called his best friend, desperate for a distraction to keep him from his mind.

"Sher, it's me."

_"Hey Guen. Hungover?"_

"A bit... How are you and Rachel?"

_"She's fine. I ended up staying at hers last night. She's asleep. How're you, sweetie?"_

"A bit shit, if I'm being honest."

_"You do sound like shit. Something happen last night? Who do I have to beat up?"_

"No one. It's just... Matty was over last night, right?"

_"Yeah? Should I beat him up for you? What did he do?"_

"No. Well, we can talk about that later, it's just. You know, one-night-stands are easy, but he turned out to be quite nice to talk to but we possibly couldn't still be friends after last night."

_"Oh. Well, I disagree, because you could totally still be friends with someone you fucked."_

"Except you have to keep fucking?"

Lock's snort was heard through the line. _"I guess. But seriously, Guen–_ Rome, _you have to tell me whether I have to beat someone up."_

"I'm fine. A little choked up by the flat to be completely honest. Wanna go somewhere without getting drunk, or are you too busy with Rachel?"

_"Wanna third wheel?"_

Rome groaned. "Nevermind. I have laundry to do anyway. See you at school, bitch."

_"Aw, love you too, bitch. Seeya."_

**/ /**

Matty had gotten up late and George heated up food for him and it's currently just a little past lunch.

"We should get a dog."

"Matty, I already told you," George said. "The rent is costly enough as it is. Maybe wait a few more years?"

"Yeah, okay."

Matty bit down on his pen a little too obsessively as he stared down his journal. He was sprawled out on the carpet again, while George was on the couch, watching TV.

"Light me a cig, please," Matty sighed, finally getting up.

"Aren't you smoking a little too much?"

"George, come on, I need it. Last one for today, I swear."

"We should smoke less," George stated, taking out his lighter and cigarettes and lighting one for Matty.

"Should, yeah," muttered Matty mindlessly. "Tell me when you get our post-college rehab plan figured out."

He makes his way to the balcony, while George watches him with concern. The taller boy tried to focus his attention to the TV screen, but found the task impossible.

**/ /**

George got up and followed Matty to where they had been sharing cigarettes only hours prior.

Matty looked back at George, smoke wrapped around him and looking like the twisted sort of beautiful George found himself fearing.

"Matty..."

"What?"

"You're thinking again."

"Of fucking course, George, I'm thinking. I'm not braindead, am I?"

"You know what I mean," George muttered, leaning on the railing. "You're thinking and you're upset."

"I'm not," Matty huffed around the cigarette in his mouth.

"Why are you so stressed out, mate? What happened last night?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"It's just me, here, now. We've got time. Talk to me."

"I really thought I got myself figured out," Matty muttered after a while, fingers bringing the cigarette up to his lips. "I thought I was comfortable, but now..."

"You're having second thoughts because?"

"This just kind of sets it in stone, doesn't it? That I'm not straight."

"There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"Yeah, of course, but like, people still talk shit, don't they?"

"You don't have to confirm or deny anything they think, Matty. What matters most is how you see yourself, I think," George says in a way he hopes is comforting.

"How I see myself?"

"Yeah, like–" George struggled for words. It's not really his forté, but it's definitely Matty's.

"I see myself as a pretentious twat," Matty says around his nearly finished cigarette. "And I talk too much but I never say enough. I don't intend to change that. And I'm not comfortable in my own skin some days. I've found myself wondering how it's like to be as beautiful as the girls I've fucked. Always with their makeup and their cute clothes. I sometimes wish I had that."

George listened to Matty, watching him speak his heart out. His hand shook as he begrudgingly crushed the last of the cigarette's ashes by the ashtray, clearly wanting more. George almost wanted to spare him another.

"And have you come to terms with that?"

"I've never really acted on it. I don't know, George."

"Okay," George says, uncertain. He wanted Matty to feel better about himself, but he wasn't sure how. "You wanna go for a drive somewhere?"

**/ /**


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George and Matty have a drive to pass the rest of their Sunday.

Matty took a shower, hot water hitting his milky skin and making it pink. Steam fogged up the glass.

He washed out the last of the product from his curls and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his middle, drying himself off and heading to his wardrobe.

There weren't much clothes worthy of interest, in shades of white, grey, black. Matty frowned and moved all the monochromatic clothes aside and found a pink floral button up he'd only ever used once.

He looked at the shirt, assessing it for a moment. Matty set the shirt on his bed and wore pants and one of his black skinny jeans.

"Matty?" George inquired at his door. "Do you still want to go?"

"Yeah, hold on," Matty muttered, unsure yet unbothered on whether the other can hear him.

Matty looked at his reflection on a full-body mirror as he buttoned up the shirt, which looked more like a lady's blouse on him (it _is_), and thought it's alright.

He looked... good. Matty ran his hand through the drying curls a few times. His hair was getting pretty long, but he didn't feel like getting it cut. Not yet.

His eyes fell to light bruises just below his collar and brushed his fingers over them.

"Matty?" George inquired again, knocking on the door.

Matty left his head and opened the door, stepping out of the room.

"Let's go?" offered Matty, and the two made their way out the flat. George tried not to stare.

**/ /**

Matty sat in the passenger's seat, as usual, and George took the car out of parking.

"Anywhere you'd like to go to in particular?"

"No," replied Matty, watching the streets with distant eyes.

Matty pulled the seatbelt over himself. George turned the radio on, turning the volume up just enough before starting to drive, a half-made plan in mind to hopefully help Matty feel better.

George stopped by a thrift shop they've not visited in a while. The hint of a smile can be found on Matty's lips.

"Why here?" asked Matty to the taller boy as they both left the car.

"Well..." George wasn't quite sure how to answer that. "You said– earlier, you said something and I thought you might just. I don't know..."

"Oh," said Matty, then smiled.

They entered the brightly-lit shop silently, making their way to different aisles for anything that might catch their eyes. George went to the section with the fleeces and coats, while Matty wandered off to the shirts area.

Matty looked at other colors and patterns other than his usual monochromes, feeling quite inspired after finding the floral blouse amongst his clothes.

He wasn't sure what he was looking for and wandered off in search of something nicer.

Matty wasn't particularly fashionable, but if George had brought him here for an opportunity to explore his self-expression, he might as well just do exactly that.

The school crowd's opinions were an afterthought as Matty eyed a bunch of lady's wear that he might dare himself to dress in for a day.

**/ /**

After he'd chosen a jacket for himself, George found Matty and saw him hesitantly take out a black skirt and shove it back to the rack once George's presence was noticed.

"George. Uh, hey," Matty said, nervously drumming his fingers against his sides.

"Hey. Found anything you like?"

"No..."

"You can try those on, if you're unsure," George said carefully.

Matty looked back at the rack of skirts and picked out the one that he'd pulled out of the bunch. He held to his chest as if to hide it and went to the dressing stalls they had.

George patiently waited outside the stall Matty was in, passing the time scrolling through his phone.

Matty looked at his reflection, carefully smoothing out the fabric. The skirt brushed past his knees, and went well with the blouse he'd worn. Best of all, it had _pockets_.

It didn't feel weird, or wrong. It felt somehow like trying on new jeans and actually liking them. Matty took one last glance at himself, tried to tame his curls, and opened the stall door.

George looked up from his phone when he heard the dressing room door open.

"What do you think?"

Matty was _gorgeous_, but George couldn't say that, as that'd be plain weird. Matty looked so comfortable with himself, an easy smile gracing his pretty face.

"Suits you," George commented finally.

"Really?"

"I think it goes very well with your aesthetic, too," George continued, just slightly teasing.

Matty laughs and rolls his eyes. "What have you got?"

"Oh, well, just a jacket."

**/ /**

They paid for the items after Matty picked out two other skirts— a pleated white one and a floral black one.

("I'm not just about black and white, _George_."

"It's still black, _Matty_."

"It's got coloured flowers, that's fucking different."

"Still mostly black."

"Whatever."

George hid a fond smile under the guise of clearing his throat, and the person behind the counter gave him a knowing look. Matty was too caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts to notice.)

The sky is streaked with the colours of the city sunset by the time they were out the shop. Deep blues overcame the last blotches of orange and lampposts began to light the streets.

"Wanna go anywhere else?" George asked, carrying the shopping bags in his hands.

"No, thanks," Matty said, leaning on the much taller man's shoulder. "I'm tired. Let's get takeout."

"Where'd you want?"

"I can't really decide. Something good."

They take the car out of parking. Matty takes the shopping bags and tosses them to the backseat.

"Can I light a cig?" Matty asks, hand already in the glovebox.

George didn't feel like he had the heart to say no. "Matty..."

To this, Matty sighs and closes the glovebox. George drives away from the thrift shop with only a vague idea of where to go, letting the radio play softly in the background.

Matty still smokes one in the end, apologizing to George silently by letting him have some too, which didn't really do either of them any favours, but it's the thought that counted.

**/ /**


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matty and Rome see each other again. It's nearly summer.

Rome and Matty's next encounter was not at a college party, but at a bar.

Matty went out with his friends for a few drinks since it was George's birthday. The very same evening, Rachel took Rome to a night out while Lock was away for some club outing.

Rachel, who'd been ranting about worries regarding Sherlock, snapped her fingers twice in front of Rome, making the blond boy's eyes focus.

"Are you still listening, Guen?"

"Sorry, I spaced out. You were saying?"

She sighed. "It's no biggie, hun. You're so out of it. You're the one who should be talking. I'm all ears."

Rome blushed. "It's nothing, really. Just saw someone." His eyes flitted from Rachel's face momentarily.

Rachel caught the small motion and discreetly turned to the direction of a nearby table off to the corner. Her eyes focus on Matty, who she just saw off work earlier.

Rome finishes his drink and orders another just as Rachel looked at him with knowing eyes.

"Healy, huh?"

"I just wasn't expecting him, is all."

"You should go for him. I bet he misses you."

"Rachel!" Rome nearly hissed, cheeks heating up. "Were not talking about that here."

"Well you can't deny that he looks good in that skirt tonight, don't you think?"

Rome quickly looks over to Matty's table, and _oh_, that he definitely did. His drink arrives, and he takes it distractedly.

"I know what we should do tonight," Rachel said with a devious glint in her eyes.

The tone of Rachel's voice makes his attention turn back to her, and as soon as he realized what she's said, he mouths _'No.'_

Rachel smiles with faux innocence and stands up before Rome can even do anything about it.

**/ /**

The blond boy drank the alcohol in his glass, barely able to even process the taste of the thing. Rome anxiously peered over Rachel, who was in conversation with Matty.

They talked for a bit while Rome took sips of his drink, trying not to think of the things they're talking about. This is, however, unsuccessful, as Rachel points at him, still talking to Matty.

Rome's eyes connect with Matty's and he gives a little smile and wave. Matty's smile was beautiful, showing his crooked teeth. Rome thought it was oddly charming.

They keep talking, and Rome sighs in relief as Matty looks away. He takes bigger gulps of his drink and wishes the ground would just devour him now.

The ground beneath Rome's tapping foot didn't open up, though, so he's not saved when Rachel beckoned to him, while everyone else looked at him a bit expectantly.

Rome made his way over to Rachel, keeping himself small and unassuming all the while, but Rome couldn't shake off the feeling of a pair of eyes looking at him.

"This, is my friend," said Rachel, introducing him proudly to Matty and his friends. Rome's cheeks darkened at the attention, not from the vaguely familiar people, but from Matty, who gazed at him with an unreadable expression.

"I'm Guen. Nice to meet you guys."

"Nice to see you again, Rome," Matty said, lips quirking up into a smile.

"... hey Matty," the blond boy said weakly, unable to help a small smile from appearing on his face.

"Why don't you both have a seat?" said Ross at the two newcomers. He probably had the best manners out of everyone in the group, next to Adam.

**/ /**

Matty was pleasantly surprised to meet Rome again. It wasn't too long since they last met— just over two weeks. He was still as soft and innocent-looking as ever, shyness more presently apparent.

Rachel took the seat with George and Adam, so Rome is left to take the seat beside Matty.

They settled in pretty nicely, having drinks that were less on strong and more delightful. Rachel and Rome find out it's the celebration of George's birthday, so they give him the most sincere wishes an acquaintance could give.

The group shared laughs when George playfully complained about being as old as Matty now.

As some point, Adam had already turned down dancing thrice and Rachel stopped drinking so much, choosing to pace herself for the rest of the evening. Rome's been talking easier now, having drunk just enough to make everything thrum pleasantly under his skin.

Matty's hands have found Rome's knee, making the smaller boy bite his lip to fight back a hiss when the older boy brushed the inside of his thigh accidentally.

He didn't let up, though, but simply resting the hand on Rome's lap, which made the younger boy stiffen in his seat as Matty told Rachel something Rome was too distracted to hear.

Rome gasped softly as Matty's fingers slowly crept along the sensitive skin on the inside of his thigh.

The movement was slow and nearly agonizing. The sensation made Rome want to shiver, moreso when Matty's fingers get closer to his crotch.

Rome looks off to the rest of the bar, as if they'd get caught if anyone saw his face. He quickly turns to Matty when he feels the other squeeze the flesh on his thigh, fighting back the urge to moan.

Matty leans in and whispered in a low voice, just enough for Rome to hear. "Alright?"

Rome gave a slight nod, not quite trusting his mouth to form anything properly coherent just yet.

Matty kept on, and Rome appeared much more deep in thought much later. Really, though, he was just keeping himself from looking affected.

**/ /**

"Do you wanna dance?" Matty whispered, loud enough that someone might've heard. Not that it matters. The look he shared with Rome hopefully communicated what he meant, if his blown eyes were anything to go by.

"Yeah." Rome sounded breathless, but only Matty noticed.

They get lost in the sea of moving bodies, where they never stayed. When they got past the dancefloor, the two find their way to the stalls, Matty almost dragging Rome in with their rush.

Matty leans down to kiss Rome while Rome was pressed against the door, fumbling to turn the lock. The smaller boy moaned through the kiss.

They look at each other once pull away, breathing heavily.

"Didn't think I was going to see you so soon," Matty breathed out.

"Me neither, fuck. You're such a fucking tease."

Matty smirked. "Means I get you off though."

A soft groan leaves Rome's lips once Matty rubs his own palm against Rome's crotch, pleased at the hardness there. Matty didn't waste time undoing Rome's trousers, pushing it down just over his knees.

"Turn around for me?"

Rome did so, a little too lost in his head to question it. Matty slid down Rome's boxers, which made the younger boy hiss as his cock was met with the cold air.

The blond boy didn't notice when Matty got his own hands slick with spit but what mattered was the fact that those slick hands were around his cock now.

He leaned onto Matty, who pressed against him in turn. Rome could feel Matty's erection through his back.

Matty touched Rome the way he touched himself. It was a bit different, though, as Rome was thicker than him, but it was pleasurable to touch Rome like this.

The taller boy's mouth found it's way to Rome's neck, wetly sucking marks there. Matty slipped his other hand up Rome's shirt, rubbing the flat of his palm against the other's nipples. Rome moaned softly at the attention.

Their breathing sounded far too loud in the enclosed area.

"Close," Rome whimpered, his voice small.

Matty lingered on Rome's more sensitive areas, flicking over the tip of his dick more than once. It wasn't long until Rome was shuddering as his come spilled over the toilet.

Matty held him up while he regained his bearings. Rome managed to pull up his pants and zip up his jeans before turning around and kissing Matty roughly.

"My turn," Rome said as he pulled away, voice rough and wrecked as he gets on his knees.

"Love this thing on you so much." Rome bunched up the white fabric of Matty's skirt and pulled down the other boy's pants from underneath it.

"Thanks, got it– ah!"

Matty heard the crinkle of foil and felt a condom being rolled up on his dick. He took the bunched-up fabric from Rome's hand, looking down at the boy before him.

"Got it the other week," Matty finished, breathless at the sight.

Rome smirked up at him. "You should wear skirts to school. You look so pretty in them, love."

Matty reply was stuck to his throat as Rome's warm mouth closes around his bellend, tongue gently prodding at the slit before gradually taking him deeper.

Matty felt weak-kneed, his hands braced against either sides of the stall to keep him up.

Rome kept on taking Matty in and out of his mouth, tongue occasionally flicking at the tip before taking all he could. Matty's hips snapped forward, entirely accidental.

"Shit, sorry. Fuck–"

Tears gathered at the corners of Rome's eyes at the sudden movement, but gripped Matty's thighs tightly when the other tried to move back.

This made Matty moan as he felt Rome swallow around him before drawing his head back.

Rome continued to suck Matty at a faster pace before taking him deep once more, and moaning. Expletives left Matty's mouth as Rome drew his head back, chanting the words like a prayer.

"Shit, I'm really close," Matty said weakly as Rome kept on taking him in and out, the other boy's moans muffled around Matty's cock. Just a few more and Rome takes Matty deeper again, moaning at the suddenness, and Matty is coming.

Rome took Matty out of his mouth slowly, getting up to hold Matty up through his orgasm, leaving marks on the taller boy's neck as he did.

**/ /**

"Fuck, Rome, that was–"

"Mhm..."

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, just surprised me, really," replied Rome, voice still rough.

"C'mere," sighed Matty, kissing into Rome's mouth. Their lips slid against each other easily, more of a lazy kiss than anything.

They remained like that awhile, basking in postcoital bliss.

"Wanna go for a smoke?" Matty offers as he leans on the sink counter.

Rome hums vaguely in agreement. He followed Matty out and the club's atmosphere washed over them like a thick blanket. A very uncomfortable one.

On the way out, Matty passes by their table, quickly telling George he'll be out for a bit. Rome only waved at Rachel.

**/ /**

Rome watched the smoke rise from Matty's lips before taking a drag from his own cigarette.

"Will I see you again?" Matty asked, looking up at the barely-there stars in the city.

The question felt oddly intimate— hopeful, even.

"You see me nearly every day," Rome says around the smoke in his mouth. "Music class. Nothing's really stopping you from talking to me, you know?"

"You don't mind if people talk?"

Rome thought for a while. Matty _is_ known to be promiscuous, after all. Everyone seems so invested in who fucks who these days. Does he really want to get involved in the discord that followed Matty everywhere in school?

He finds he doesn't mind too much. "No. I don't think so."

"Is it silly that I felt thrilled seeing you again?"

"You wanted to see me again?" Rome queried.

"Didn't think I would be, really. You're just so, _you_."

"Is this you telling me you like me?" Rome asked with an amused smile.

"Maybe so."

"Unfortunately, I like you too. And your cock."

"Wouldn't like me so much without it, would you?"

Rome giggled. "You know it."

They talk lightheartly 'til they get through the remnants of Matty's pack, Rome swearing to buy him another. They get back to the bar with flushed cheeks, getting back to a table with Ross drunkenly gushing over something some guy called John texted him.

**/ /**


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer break plans and Matty and George.

Rachel waved Matty over as she took off her work apron. Matty looked up from the last table he was wiping for the day.

"Hey Matty! Lock and I are going on a road trip this summer. Still inviting some friends. You gonna come with?"

"Oh uh—"

"You can bring your boyfriends if you want."

Matty didn't even flinch at the term 'boyfriends' anymore, learning that Rachel had taken a habit of calling anyone's friend their boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate over their increasingly frequent conversations since the night at the bar.

"Not really sure yet, Chel. I can barely feed myself right now." Matty slung the rag over his shoulder. "George mentioned he'll be home for the summer, though. Not sure about Adam, but Ross is going to be busy dating the elusive John Waugh."

"Good for Ross. Anyway, expenses are on me! Daddy's lending me a spare credit card as long as I swear not to max it out."

"Why the hell do you even work here?" Matty asked disbelievingly, obsessively scrubbing over a stain he belatedly realized was only discoloration of the table's paint. Rachel only shrugged.

Matty went behind the counter, setting the rag by the sink. He washed any trace of the rag stench away from his hands before slipping off his apron.

"So are you going?"

"I still gotta ask George," Matty muttered, donning his leather jacket.

"I swear you guys are beyond married," Rachel commented, sighing exasperatedly.

She furiously typed away at her phone while Matty dug around for his favorite skirt, pulling it over his jeans.

"'sthere anyone looking?" Matty asked absentmindedly, turning away from the café's open side as he lifted the front of his skirt up to undo his work slacks. "It's too bloody hot out for layers."

"No. Front door's locked too, innit?"

Matty hummed, sighing in relief once he's freed from the offending trousers.

He stuffs his uniform into the black bag he carried everywhere, checking if he had everything before slinging it over his shoulder.

"Ready to go?" inquired Chel distractedly.

"Yeah, just waiting for you, really. You've got the keys."

"Alright. Hold on."

**/ /**

The two made their way out, Matty ranting about a particularly annoying customer he encountered as they did.

Rachel was on her phone as she half-listened to Matty drone on about shit, simultaneously typing into a group chat that included Sherlock and Rome. It was named 'baddest bitches only' by Lock at one point and nobody really bothered to change it.

"... I so badly wanted to tell her to kindly fuck off, because this isn't a bloody Starbucks. We're not paid enough for your shit. Take your Special Frappe or leave."

"Uh huh, what did you tell her, then?"

"I went '_Please be considerate of those next in the queue, because they've not got the patience you have to wait for a customized drink in our shop, which we do not serve._' She had the nerve to be pissed and I found out that she isn't even in the system. The audacity."

"Feel bad for the students who had to wait for their caffeine fix. Anyway, about the road trip. Here's the deal breaker. You're gonna wanna go."

"Oh yeah?"

The familiar beep from George's car was heard.

"Rome's confirmed to be coming with us. If that doesn't make you want to go with us more, I don't know how else to convince you."

Matty grows quiet, his expression morphing into what Rachel called his 'thinking face.'

"Are you seriously considering it yet?"

"Uh... I'll let you know," Matty said, rushed.

George drives by then, and Matty walks over to the familiar black secondhand, seriously considering it.

**/ /**

_holy shit, it worked._

Lock read over Rachel's message, shaking her head in amusement.

Told u so

what worked?

Ew guen

Punctuation

R u even real

_convinced someone to join us on the tripppp_

_it's gonn b extra fun now :D_

who?

_ **rachelmack56 added TrumanBlack to baddest bitches only** _

_ **LuvMe-Lock renamed the chat to Ew whats this gc name** _

_ **guenromeforever renamed the chat to lock is bad at names** _

_ **guenromeforever renamed the chat to silent sanctuary best band** _

wait who's trumanblack?

_ hey it's matty x _

Don't x in this chat or your cancelled

that's you're, love.

_that's *you're, get it right_

_Whatever dont gang up against me :(_

_so where are you guys planning on going anyway?_

/ /

"George!" Matty's only finished dropping his things off in his room.

"Hey. What's up?"

George is on the floor on his phone, leaning on the couch he's too large to comfortably lie down on.

"We should sell this fucking couch," Matty says as he flopped onto said poor couch. It lets out a long squeak and a muted jangle.

"Might cost more with the amount of spare change inside," George replies.

"How much d'you reckon it'd cost?"

"Half the month's rent if we're lucky."

Matty hums and leans on George's head. The taller man didn't protest, and kept on using his phone, angling it up in a manner that Matty could see.

"You talking to Ross and Adam?"

"Yeah. Ross is yapping on about John again. Adam's left the chat thrice already."

Matty leaned further onto George as he peered into the chat through George's phone.

"You know... I didn't think John was real," he said, looking at the pictures Ross had sent.

"Why's that?"

"Ross talked about John like his perfect ideal boyfriend. He was too perfect, like, the fuck? That can't be fucking real."

"I don't understand your idea of realistic partners," replied George.

Matty hummed and leaned onto George's shoulder. "Me neither."

They didn't talk much as Matty watched the screen of George's phone. The taller boy was scrolling through Instagram, mumbling out comments to some posts Matty found humorous in a distinctly George way.

"I was invited by Rachel to a summer road trip with some friends. You know her. Rich blonde chick from the café."

George didn't actually know her, but she sounds familiar, so he nodded. "Where to?"

"Dunno. Summer road trip. Go figure."

"So you're going? That's nice."

"_No_, George."

"What do you mean no? You're not going? Going home unprompted for once?"

"No! I'm not even sure if I should go. Tell me something. Help me decide, come on..."

"I don't know Matty. Why are you asking me?"

**/ /**

George felt a tad bit flattered that Matty consulted with him regarding these things. He just doesn't get why, but he'll be happy to help Matty however.

"George, you're my best mate. You give great advice. Help me out here. Can we pros and cons this?"

George's brow furrowed. "Why's a road trip working you up so much?"

"Well..." Matty's breath was warm against George's neck, hitting his skin in a way that George recognized to be the beat of Matty's anxiety. "Rome's going too."

George stiffened, forcing down any jealousy threatening to surface. It's not really much of a deal who Matty fancies and/or fucks. It wasn't really much of a deal when it was with girls. So why's the feeling in his chest?

"Cons, then?"

"I don't know where were going, I'm broke, nobody in our flat all break, and Rome."

"And the pros, if you've the optimism for it?"

"We might go to Paris, Rachel's got a cred, change of scenery which means writing inspiration, and Rome."

"Nobody to make sure you eat enough and smoke less," George stated.

"That's your job, George. 'Mnot getting anyone else to do it for me."

George looked up at Matty with disbelieving eyes, shaking his head with a smile. "You're unbelievable."

"My job is to make you marvel at my unbelievable existence."

Matty really isn't all that mistaken.

**/ /**

They settle back into their comfortable yet improper seats after discussing whether to go or not to go. Matty felt himself suddenly slipping off the couch from miscalculating his grip on George. Matty yelped upon his quick descent.

George instinctively reached out, catching and pulling Matty's pretty much weightless body close, dropping his phone in the process.

"Christ, Matty," said George, letting himself go from having held his breath.

"Holy shit. I could've fallen onto my face."

"Yeah, your poor perfect face could've broken if not for me, huh?" George huffed.

Matty left from where he awkwardly perched on George's lap and instead sat beside the taller boy, handing the other the phone that had slipped off his grasp.

"Sorry," Matty muttered quietly.

"'salright. Just be more careful."

Matty shrunk under George's concerned gaze. His own eyes fell to his feet, glossed over and shaken. George's breath hitched as Matty tucked his bottom lip between those crooked teeth of his.

"It's not exactly your fault, mate," sighed George, wrapping his left arm around Matty's curled up form. "I'm glad you're fine."

"Yeah. Sorry anyway," Matty murmured.

"Hey, how about I fix us dinner, yeah? Or would you prefer takeout?"

"Anything's fine. I'm not really that hungry," said Matty, relaxing onto George's side.

"You should definitely go to that trip now. You'd probably starve and lose more weight without me around. You're mother is gonna have my head."

"Yeah, probably."

**/ /**


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matty and Rome are talking more often in school since the club.

Matty sat next to Rome on Music the very Monday after their little encounter at the club.

He greets Rome casually, making a few heads turn, and he could hear their gossip already, despite not making out a single word.

"Hey," Rome greets back. It's silly, because they're acting like they're talking for the first time. They both laugh.

They quickly fall into conversation like they've known each other forever, Matty casually saying things that made Rome's cheeks darken. He adored that look on him.

The professor arrives, and Music class begins. It was fairly enjoyable, or as enjoyable as a class could get. They both bounced ideas off each other in regards to the topic they pretended to care about for most of it.

This goes on for the week, and the others' chatter is getting louder.

Ms. Adelaide didn't seem all too pleased at this new development, and so were the girls who liked to throw themselves at Matty's feet at any opportunity. She had better reasons, though.

As much as she was happy that Rome is getting along with people more, Matty seemed like a bad influence on the younger boy.

Matty had a bit of a reputation for getting into fights and bending and breaking various school rules. She couldn't do anything, though, and placed her trust that instead of what she fears, it would be so that Rome would be a good influence on Matty.

/ /

"Hey, Matty," said a girl, practically purring into Matty's ear as he stared hard into his locker, trying to figure out if he's missing anything for the next class.

He turned to her, pulled suddenly from his thoughts, whose subject is the black skirt that matched his shirt today that sat on a corner of his locker, neatly folded.

"Hey love, do you need anything?"

She was just around Matty's height, if not a few inches shorter. Her hair was brown that cascaded into perfect ringlets. Matty felt a little envious, hand subconsciously reaching for his own less-than-perfect locks.

"I'm Kyra. We share three classes, you know?"

She was pretty. She'd probably pass up as a model easily with her flawless look.

"Of course." Matty would've usually enjoyed this interaction, maybe he would've tried to flirt with her to progress this further, but something else invaded his mind.

_I wish I was her. Then maybe I could put that bloody skirt on just to see the look on Rome's face_.

Everything seems to be about Rome these days. They've snogged multiple times and fucked around when they're less than sober. Matty didn't want to push him too far, so he hopes they'll talk soon.

"Well you see, I noticed you've been talking to Gomez during Music now. What's that about?"

"Oh..." Matty was tempted to say more, but he'll come off as defensive, then the rumours will start, and then-

"You know, I heard he's gay. I've seen the way he looks at you!" She spoke as if it was the weirdest thing. Matty wonders if she'd seen the way he looks at Rome.

"What of it? It's not like he's done anything wrong." Matty retorts as calmly as he could, turning back to his locker so Kyra wouldn't see how upset he was getting. His fingers met fabric in his attempt at pretending to retrieve something, and he's struck by a thought.

He had to make a point.

"Well isn't that- like, you're not interested? Isn't it weird? Uh-" Kyra was dumbfounded, suddenly realizing the presence of a flaw in her logic.

"Know what, Kyra, right? We share next class, don't we?"

She nods exaggeratedly as Matty looks at her.

"Be a dear and assist me with something, will you?"

/ /

Kyra was quiet the whole time as Matty dragged her to an empty ladies' restroom. She was silent as Matty unfolded his skirt and didn't say a word when Matty asked for her help with the back clasp and zipper.

"What do you think?" Matty asked as he assessed his reflection, prompting her to speak.

"W-well, it's nice." She took a breath, not wanting to embarrass herself further. "You matched well with your shirt, and it looks good this way, but if you want to accentuate your shape a bit, you can try tucking your shirt in."

"Oh? Teach me?"

Kyra helped Matty, unable to help being slightly fussed at Matty's cluelessness like she would with a friend. Matty didn't seem to mind this and looked genuinely grateful and pleased with the change.

"Thank you." Matty kissed Kyra's cheek in a manner she thought too polite to mean anything, but it made her blush anyway.

"So are you like... um... gay? Bi?" Kyra sounded curious yet confused, speaking out her words like treading on slippery stones.

Matty realized he was unsure how to answer that. The school bell rang.

"Well, neither. I don't know! I'm not in the mood to be late today, gotta go, thanks so much, bye!" And Matty was running out the door.

/ /

Matty is cursing himself for his impulsiveness. He wanted to be confident in himself, but he's in public and far too sober for any of this right now.

He's made his point to one person, but how will he survive being the focus of the school crowd? He wished he at least layered jeans on, so he could easily take the skirt off and pass it off as a silly dare.

He's rushing too quickly past the halls to see how everyone looked at him. He wondered whether he should have taken time in the loo to smoke his anxieties off.

Someone snagged his shoulder in his rush and he stopped struggling once he recognized the familiar hand.

"George! It's just you. Hey."

The crowds are sparse now, but some eyes lingered, curious of the scene unfolding.

"Where you off to?"

Matty took a moment to breathe and did his best to sound casual. "Music. You coming?"

"Yeah. Wait for me a bit?"

"Sure, alright."

/ /

They ended up just barely in time for class after a quick smoke in the loo. Matty slid into his now-usual spot, applying all his body weight onto the seat and sighing in relief.

"Smoking in school, really?" Rome said amusedly, turning to Matty and resting his head on his knuckle.

"Sod off, I got nervous."

"Whatever for? This?" Rome tugged at the end of the fabric just above Matty's knees a bit lower, making Matty blush a dark pink.

Rome leaned down to whisper. "I don't see why when you look so good in it."

Matty just barely suppressed a shudder.

Rome turns to the board when Ms. Adelaide entered the room, somehow appearing innocent and guileless like always, while Matty still had the hints of pink high on his cheeks.

Matty decided he'd like to trigger that side of Rome more often as soon as he gets over his embarrassment.

/ /

"Come to mine later?" Rome asked Matty shyly just as the class ended.

Matty felt a bit better wearing the skirt a few compliments from Rome later, some suggestive but mostly otherwise, but it wasn't only Rome who'd noticed his guard was higher, wary that someone will say something to throw him off.

"That sounds great. Meet you after?"

"Yeah, how's the café sound?"

"Wait, fuck- I have a shift at the café tonight."

Rome looked Matty disbelievingly. "At the café? You? Seriously?"

"It's a paying job, Rome. Don't judge people's livelihood."

"Why haven't I seen you there, I mean? I've always been going there since I moved here."

"I fill in odd hours, unlike Rachel, who likes to work the afternoon shift all the time, especially since Lock."

"Until what time will you be tonight, then? I'll pick you up."

"You don't have to! I can take a cab to yours alone."

"C'mon love, I insist. Unless you're scared of motorbikes, that is."

Matty's reaction made Rome giggle.

"Are you telling me... you're planning to pick me up at work... in a proper fucking motorbike?"

"Yeah. If you want."

"Oh believe me, I do want to see that for myself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got the motorbike idea from the 'do it again' mv
> 
> i know rome wasn't driving in the video bUT i do enjoy the idea of him riding a motorbike a lot bc motorbike rides are fun and badass as hell
> 
> ...even if i designed by him to appear as a soft pastel boy bc of the 'i still believe in u' mv
> 
> but honestly i did want a kinda bamf!pastel boy so look out for more of that


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting, making out, and a motorbike ride.

Matty texted Rome that he'd be out by seven, but the other boy was strolling into the shop even before that time. Rome ordered a coffee with a teasing smile, and Matty was nearly stumbling over his tasks at the surprise of seeing him.

Matty had to tend to more customers after Rome, so he hadn't got the opportunity to say much. He glanced at Rome whenever he could and their eyes met on more than one occasion.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't itching to get off of work. The little smirk on Rome's lips when the smaller boy noticed how all over the place Matty had gotten in his presence was enough to tempt Matty to leave the counter and kiss Rome stupid then and there.

Time was agonizingly slow, and there was still a little less than a half hour to go. Matty looked over to Rome, who was on his phone currently, sitting there and looking unfairly attractive.

He wore a light pink jacket (cute as hell) over a black tank top (which Matty loves to see Rome in) and his hands are clad in white fingerless gloves (Matty at the moment couldn't figure out what they were for, but they looked pretty cool).

"Matty, mate, you look like you're dying to get off work," commented Alvin, the barista Matty worked with.

"I am!" Matty whispered, lightly drumming his fingers on the counter as his gaze fell over to Rome, while gave him a smile and a little wave.

"I see... I can take it from here. It's getting slower anyway."

"No, mate, it's fine really. I can wait a few more minutes."

"Healy, as your senior co-worker, I'm telling you to get off work and not keep your friend over there waiting."

And that's all it took for Matty to take grab his things, take his apron off, and make his way to Rome's table.

Upon Matty's arrival, Rome glanced at the time, commenting on how early he was.

"Alvin ordered me to leave. He noticed you're looking lonely without me."

Rome rolled his eyes playfully. "Come on, then. There's wine waiting for your fancy arse."

Matty licked his chapped lips subconsciously. "Perfect."

**/ /**

"So where's your bike?" Matty asked once they stepped out the café.

"I parked it this way."

Matty followed Rome to the parking. Sure enough, Rome had a white motorbike with accents Matty couldn't make out the color of in the dark.

Rome faced Matty, leaning back on his motorbike for a moment and taking out a cigarette. Matty watched Rome light it like it was the most fascinating thing, watching the smoke rise and obscure Rome's face.

(_Remember__ that night, it was just you and I and neither the moon nor the sun bore witness? Only the stars watched, winking like a promise to keep it secret._

_It seemed so insignificant, then, and yet, I now remember how we talked until the skies became watercolour hues and hid away just as the sun woke up.)_

The cigarette seemed like a stark contrast from his pink jacket and dyed pink blond hair. The vice looked out of place between Rome's fingers. Those hands look like they're meant to handle fragile flowers instead of a burning stick of death.

"You want a smoke?"

"D'you mind sharing?" Matty murmured, walking up into Rome's space.

"Not at all. Come here." Rome took a long drag and offered the cigarette to Matty. Instead of accepting it, Matty held Rome's face delicately and met his eyes for barely a second before leaning in.

Rome's eyes fluttered shut, reciprocating easily with a soft moan. The kiss lasted longer than the shared smoke in their lungs.

Matty pulled away. "Fuck."

Rome smiled brilliantly with the corner of his mouth quirked up in amusement. He held the cigarette against Matty's lips, and he accepted gratefully, thankful not to talk about it.

They finish the cigarette and Matty snogs Rome again, relishing in the rush and sensation there. Rome tasted like smoke and coffee and made the prettiest little noises Matty enjoyed hearing.

"People might see," Rome said breathlessly between the meeting of their mouths.

"Don't care," Matty answered back hurriedly. "Let them."

They snog for a while longer, bodies pressed closer with Rome's arms loosely around Matty's neck and Matty's hands splayed over the curve of Rome's bottom.

They finally pull away for air, panting for breath.

"You really couldn't wait, could you?" Rome teased breathlessly, resting his forehead on Matty's shoulder.

Matty takes a moment before replying. "You're so fucking tempting."

"Only for you, Matty. Only for you." And Rome meant it.

"Let's get the hell out of here. Didn't you mention wine?" Matty pulls away slightly, allowing Rome to get off the bike.

Rome handed Matty a helmet before putting on his own. Matty just kind of held it in his hands, unsure.

"Have you even gotten on a motorbike before?"

"Yeah, yeah, lemme just..." Matty puts it on while Rome gets on the bike and takes it out of parking.

"I don't remember the last time I've been on one of these things," Matty muttered as he took up the space behind Rome.

"You'll be fine, love. Just hold onto me."

"Was this all just a ploy to get me to hug you?"

"Maybe, but I'd really rather you won't fall."

"Always so thoughtful, aren't you?" Matty hummed, wrapping his arms around Rome.

The smaller boy rolled his eyes. "Of course."

**/ /**

Rome drives off the parking lot and onto the road, and Matty wasn't prepared for the speed they were going and let out an embarrassing squeak as his grip around Rome's middle tightened.

"... I can definitely see why I should hold on now."

"I'm going faster later, so definitely hold on. Just don't squeeze me to death, yeah?"

Matty nodded against Rome's back, slightly loosening his grip as their surroundings blurred around them.

A few minutes into the ride, Matty raised his head, hearing the wind whizz past as Rome drove through the night. The low temperature bit harshly at his exposed skin.

"You okay, Matty?" Rome's voice was raised as it's difficult to hear over the wind rushing over their ears.

"Yeah, just... woah. I forgot how great this could get! Feels a bit like flying!"

Matty adjusted his grip on Rome, revelling at the warm contrast to the frigid night air. His eyes raised to the blurring night sky, catching glimpses of the occasional star.

He felt something. Matty knows this feeling in his chest. He's falling in love with the moment again. It's not hard to tell when he'd been through it a lot of times.

(_There's you and I, here, now, moving quickly and yet remaining still._

_My heart moves faster than my brain, but its rhythm and desire is known, long before my brain could even catch up._

_I'm not scared to fall; You won't have to catch me. If only I could convince my head the same._)

Matty rearranges the words in his head, rephrasing and rethinking, swearing to get it down at the first opportunity.

**/ /**

They arrive at Rome's flat, and Matty can't help opening a floodgate of memories since he first and last went here. The memories are fuzzy at the edges, the only constant being the presence of alcohol in his system.

"Get comfortable, I'll get the wine. It's been a pretty long week."

"You really know how to treat me right," Matty said playfully, settling into the couch as he took in the place. He took out his phone and pulled up his notes app, spilling the drafts from his head before sending a few texts to George.

Rome emerges from the kitchen, pouring them both glasses of his (and incidentally Matty's) favourite wine before sitting beside the other.

"Who you texting?"

"George. You know him. Really tall tree of a guy."

"Way to treat your friends, Matty. And what do you call me? A stump?"

Matty lets out an ungraceful snort. "No, but I just might."

This earned Matty a smack. "Rude."

"Oh, you love me anyway."

"Yeah. Unfortunately you have a personality that I can put up with on a daily basis."

Matty looked affronted. "And _I'm_ rude?"

"Stop it with my height and I might consider treating you better."

Matty picked up his glass, enjoying the flavor flooding his mouth. "And have you spoil me? That's an easy price to pay."

**/ /**

"What got into you today?"

"Why?"

"I think I know you enough to figure out it wasn't me who convinced you to wear a skirt. What happened?"

"I was trying to impress you." It came out as more of a question.

"That's bollocks and you know it."

"I did it to prove something, actually."

Matty recounted what had happened with Kyra earlier that day, and Rome listened, mostly unimpressed at his disregard for care.

"Will you do it again?"

Matty finished his glass in a swig before filling it up again. "I don't know... I probably could if I get to smoke the nerves off like today, I would. Hell, there were too many eyes on me."

"Don't push yourself, love. I know I was being insistent, but just do what you're comfortable with."

Matty smiles a weak yet grateful smile at this before drinking some more.

**/ /**


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rome and Matty fuck around and talk while George's feelings are making themselves known.

Matty and Rome were nearly through the whole bottle by now. George's texts have gone unnoticed on Matty's phone.

Matty lazily kissed along Rome's neck, who sighed softly and bit back the occasional whimper.

Rome tugged gently at the curls at the back of Matty's head as the other pried away his jacket.

"Matty..."

Matty hummed against Rome's skin.

"Matty, can we talk about this?"

Matty lifted his head, looking apologetic. "Sorry, I thought you wanted to-"

"I do, fuck, I don't want you to stop, but I don't want to fuck this up, okay? What are we doing? This isn't going to be the last time."

"It's not. We can keep it casual, if that's fine."

"Yeah, but I need to know your boundaries, Matty. I'm not a woman. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I'll let you know, I swear."

"Can we talk more tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we should."

"Come to bed with me?" Matty didn't need to be asked twice.

**/ /**

Rome's nails dragged along the expanse of Matty's back as Matty thrusted into him in quick movements. Matty had hit his spot multiple times, making him moan at the intensity of it all.

He felt Matty come already, and Rome couldn't help a whine.

Matty gently ran his fingers through Rome's hair as he pulled out, whispering soothing little apologies as he did.

"I wanna blow you," Matty whispered finally, and Rome shuddered.

Rome was too far gone to form anything coherent so he watched helplessly as Matty moved him to the edge of his bed. Matty knelt down and wet his lips and Rome whimpered.

Matty's mouth was on Rome's cock before Rome could even process what's happening. Matty was inexperienced, but it felt so good to be touched that Rome couldn't even bring himself to care as Matty took him tentatively in his mouth.

Rome gasped as Matty's mouth left him.

"Stop teasing, bloody hell," Rome said weakly, licking his plush pink lips. Matty wanted to press his against them, but remained on the floor.

"Tell me what to do."

"Then put your fucking mouth to use, Matty."

**/ /**

Morning came with the headaches and thankfully, some warmth.

Matty's phone, which miraculously still had power, rang softly, making Rome stir awake.

"Matty, answer your bloody phone, you twat," Rome said sleepily, repeatedly hitting Matty's shoulder.

Matty groans but doesn't stir awake, and Rome sighs before grabbing Matty's trousers which were abandoned on the floor last night. He takes the offending phone from it's pocket and squints at the caller ID.

_'_ _Georgie <3'_

  
"'Not my boyfriend' my arse," Rome muttered. He answered the call.

_"Hello? Matty? Did you even read my messages?"_

"It's Rome. Matty's still asleep. Do you want me to tell him anything?"

_"Is Matty okay?"_

"Yeah, we just had wine last night. He doesn't want to get up yet."

_"Of course he bloody doesn't. Tell him to text back. Thanks mate."_

The call ends.

"Matty, get up!" Rome says more insistently now, falling back to the mattress.

"Wha' is it?"

"Your boyfriend called. Text him back, he said."

"Should've told him he's not my mum and he shouldn't fuss over me so much." Matty mumbled. "Fucking- George."

Matty shot awake. "George. I didn't tell him I was coming to yours. Shit!"

Rome rolled his eyes at Matty before tossing the other his phone.

"By the way, George isn't my fucking boyfriend."

"Whatever, Healy." That said, Rome got off of bed, collecting his discarded clothes before walking off to the bathroom.

**/ /**

Matty texted George not to pick him up and didn't say any more. Needless to say, George was worried because he assumed Matty might've preferred to commute home or worked overtime and yet it was quickly approaching midnight and not a single reply received from Matty.

George was being stupid, he knew, because Matty could handle himself just fine without him. Instead of being his calm and collected self, he filled Matty's phone with messages that the older boy would no doubt tease him about later.

Even worse, Matty very well might get mad at George for his clinginess. Thank somebody it wasn't Matty who answered his phone this morning, because George could hear 'You're not my mum, George!' in his head clearly in Matty's voice.

Although somebody else answering Matty's phone to George's calls had happened multiple times, the mere fact that it was Rome sent a pang of jealousy to George's chest.

It could be George who Matty is with if George could just say something. Words are difficult, especially when you're speaking with Matty.

He could say 'I love you' readily at any time, and nearly every time George think he might, he's struck by a fear that Matty would think he means it in a strictly platonic manner. He wouldn't have the courage to bother clarifying.

He should say something.

George's phone rang. It was Matty.

_"George... morning. Sorry I didn't mention going to Rome's last night."_

"It's fine, Matty. I got worried. I was probably overreacting."

"_Really George, I'm used to it."_ George groaned inwardly at this. _"It's fine. Quite sweet of you to worry. Glad to know there's someone who'll notice if I've gone missing."_

"Of course. I've gotten too used to having you around to forget."

_"I can see that."_

"What time will you be back?" _'... home?'_, George stopped himself from adding.

_"I'll let you know. Don't think too much of me, Georgie."_

George couldn't help a stupid grin from forming on his face at the nickname. "Alright. Love you." _Why the hell did I say that?_

From the line, Matty made a sound between a snort and a giggle. George can picture him shaking his head. _"Stop doing weed, you fuck. Love you too."_ And the call ended.

George sighed. He wasn't high, but he kind of wishes he was.

**/ /**

"Shower's free," Rome announced, laying on the bed on his front and jostling Matty back to alertness in the process. "Did you call your boyfriend yet?"

"No, Rome, because I don't have one. But I did call George."

"Same thing. You gonna go home?"

"Not yet. Mind if I steal a smoke?"

"Top drawer."

"Thanks." Matty slips his hand in Rome's pocket for a lighter. Rome fumbles with his phone.

Rome watched Matty light the cigarette. It wasn't long until the scent of tobacco wafted about.

Matty looked like a twisted sort of pretty. He appeared somewhat girlish even when he tried his best not to appear so. The feature came across as the most striking, but it seemed that exactly was what's most charming about Matty.

Rome had been trying to figure the other boy out when they're not talking.

Matty was black and white and sharp edges on the outside. The sentiments behind his actions are often kind, or at least well-meaning, if you look hard enough.

"How you feeling?" Matty asked, passing back the glittery pink lighter to Rome.

"Bit sore. I can still function."

"How's that even like?"

"D'you wanna try?" Rome inquired, not entirely serious with the implied offer.

Matty pauses, thinking about it. "Ask me again when I'm less sober."

"Is there anything you don't want to make a mistake of doing when you're hammered?"

"Drinking to the point of forgetting, probably."

"Anything else?"

"Anything that would worry George too much, really. If then, he wouldn't hesitate to send me to my family. I don't want to go back."

"I doubt he will if he respects your wishes. He seems to care a lot about you, you know."

"... I know that," said Matty, not meaning to sound as if grumbling. He frowned at the lit cigarette between his fingers and tried not to feel guilty. "Anyway, do you know whether we're going to Paris on summer?"

**/ /**


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George and Matty are leaving for the summer.

Matty tossed in a good bunch of clothes and toiletries in a bag and put a load in the laundry and considered himself ready to go. He settled on watching George walk about as Matty a sprawled over their jangling couch.

George is heading back to their hometown for summer break. Matty, like he'd been many times, wasn't planning on going back this year. In fact, he doesn't want to ever return at all.

It's not that Matty hadn't got reason to, especially since did care about Louis very much and called his brother at least twice a month. It's just that he'd done quite a lot of disappointing shit before he even left and he didn't know how to face it.

George knew of this, and he'd said Matty should come home at least once still, thinking that it wouldn't really matter what he did then if his mother saw he was at least alive and feeding himself enough.

"Are you going to watch me all day?"

Matty hummed. The machine made a noise to signal that it's done with the laundry, but Matty made no move to get it.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning. And you?"

"You sound like you want to get rid of me."

"The opposite, Matty. I _was_ gonna drag you to your own mother's doorstep, remember?" George said matter-of-factly as he tossed bad food from the fridge to the bin.

Matty groaned. "I'm leaving later in the morning tomorrow. Unlike you beast. I don't understand how you stand mornings, you fucking _tree_."

"Trees do need sunlight."

"I can't believe you're embracing your tree-ness. That was an insult, you twat."

"Sure, Matty." The corner of George's mouth quirked up into a smile as he zipped his bag closed. Matty nabbed a throw pillow at him and sunk impossibly further into the couch.

**/ /**

Rome was pretty much ready to go. His things were packed in a bag and he's free for the rest of the day.

Their group chat had exploded with notifications, mostly from the girls. Rachel was so excited to go to her first ever road trip since her parents were always too busy to take her to one. A miracle she hasn't got much issues with them at all with how seemingly absent they were for most of their daughter's life.

Rome was just scrolling through the campus blog when he got a call from home. His lips curved up into a smile.

He answered the video call and set his laptop on his pillows, smoothing over his appearance absentmindedly as his brother's and mother's faces both appeared on the screen.

_"Rome_ _, how are you?"_

"Hi mum, bro. I'm doing great! How about you?

His mum talked about things he'd missed out on and asked when he'll be back home. Rome said he was still unsure and told her how he missed her cooking so he just might soon.

His mum seemed pleased at this but had to go off somewhere, leaving Rome to talk to his brother.

They talk about how Rome is doing in school, about the friends he'd made, the road trip, and whether Rome had been dating anyone recently. His brother asked about the postponed video call from last time, and a blush rose over Rome's cheeks.

"Yeah, about that... I had someone over."

_"So you_ are _dating someone!"_

"No! Not really, it's complicated."

_"Tell me about them. _ _Are they beautiful?"_

"He is," Rome sighs out. "We're just friends, though."

_"__What's that, are you friends with benefits?" _Rome's brother said this jokingly and didn't seem to expect Rome to affirm it.

"Well..."

_"Holy shit, are you for real?"_

Rome slowly nodded.

_"A_ _re you sure there are no strings attached? You could get hurt."_

"No, can't be. We're just fucking around."

_"Okay. But if he hurts you, you have to tell me. _ _I will personally fly to the UK to beat him up."_

"It's fine, you know. Lock could take him down easy. I don't think you'll have to."

They discuss other things until it was too late for Rome's brother to keep talking, so Rome said his goodbyes and jokingly requested to post him some home-cooked food.

_"__Alright__. Take care, bro. Send me postcards if __you-_ yawn -_can."_

**/ /**

Matty had moved to the carpet while George was off cooking what seemed to be pasta in the kitchen. A pen was in his right hand as his other hand laid flat between his journal and his cheek. He'd run out of things to write again.

"George?"

"Yes, Matty?"

Matty pursed his lips in thought before continuing, "Can you wake me before you leave?"

"Are you sure? That's gonna pretty early."

"Mhm. Sure."

"Alright."

True enough, Matty was awoken the next morning by George's comforting voice. He was ready to grumble about the hour until George reminded him of his request the previous night.

"Sorry, thanks."

Matty got up, throwing the duvet off of him.

"Are you going?"

"I was gonna have breakfast actually. You wanna have some?"

"Sure. Can I have a smoke as well?" George gave Matty a withering look at that.

Matty managed to shrug it off, ignoring the action's weight on his conscience. "What did you make?"

"Breakfast," replied George non-committally. Matty rolled his eyes, grumbling softly and shoving past George with little force.

Matty felt a surge of nostalgia upon seeing a proper breakfast on their little table for two with his favourite things. "You made all this?"

George only shrugged. "My last attempt at convincing you to go."

Matty sunk comfortably into his seat, slowly digging utensils into the food. The smell alone reminded him of Sundays and his nana's cooking back home.

George's expression softened at the wonder and bliss in Matty's eyes. This was the rare vulnerability George adored seeing on the other man so much.

"Why'd you cook so much? What if I hadn't suddenly craved for breakfast?"

"I was hoping you would," George admitted quietly. "Besides, it's going to be a long ride home, and all the food will go bad with no one to look after the flat, so I used up everything."

"Where would I be without you, honestly?" Matty asked, shaking his head in amusement.

"Dunno."

Matty merely hummed in reply, too engrossed in enjoying his food to articulate anything. George began to eat as well, sneaking glances up at Matty occasionally.

**/ /**

George liked cooking so much, especially for Matty. It wasn't something he did often enough, but his best friend's reactions are completely worth it every time he did it right.

"Georgie..." Matty started, taking time to assemble a kind of sandwich with the remnants of his meal as he spoke. "Would you mind waiting for me a bit?"

"Are you coming with?" George tried not to sound so hopeful but failed.

"No, no. Could you drop me off at Rome's?"

George struggled to hide how his face fell at that, averting his gaze from Matty as he replied. "Of course. That's fine."

"Thank you! I'll just grab my things. Be back in a bit."

"Alright."

Matty returned with his one bag of things. He wore a fresh set of clothes- his newest floral blouse and one of his black skinny jeans. His curly hair was tied up.

Matty was beautiful as always.

Between his fingers was an unlit cigarette, and he was typing away on his phone.

George had finished with the dishes and packed his bag of valuables, since everything else was already in his car.

"Ready to go, Matty?"

"Yeah, hold on."

**/ /**

As soon as the flat was locked and they made sure they had everything (mostly George, because Matty wasn't all too worried about anything), they were in the car and onto the road.

Matty plugged his phone on the car charger, fiddling with the radio in search for decent music before leaning back.

George tried to recall the path to Rome's, Matty aiding him with directions that weren't completely wrong, and they arrived in front of a five-storey building. George knows Rome lives on the second. That much he learned from Matty.

As soon as Matty exited the car, a chill passed through the older boy, making him shiver.

"So much for summer," Matty grumbled, digging into his bag for a jacket. George stopped his car engine, meanwhile.

"Bloody hell, I've not got a fleece. I don't have anything." A shiver goes through Matty once more, making him clutch his bag tighter.

"Did you leave it?"

"Yeah. I left them in the laundry, damn it."

"Have my jacket then," George responds without thinking, already taking the extra layer off.

"Then _you'll_ get cold, you idiot," Matty replied sharply, knowing George got cold easily compared to him, and it was chillier where the younger boy was headed.

George dismissed this, crossing his fingers mentally for a spare coat in one of his bags, and thrust the bundle of fabric into Matty's arms.

Another cool gust of wind hits them, and George slightly flinched, but Matty didn't notice and took the offered jacket with a muttered _'fuck__ it,'_ setting his bag through the window near the seat behind George as he donned it, basking in warmth and the scent of home.

"Thank you, G. You're a fucking angel."

"You were calling me a tree just yesterday," George reminds the older boy. Matty playfully rolls his eyes at this.

Secretly,— _selfishly_,— George hoped for more distractions to keep Matty there, or maybe even convince him to stay. But Matty was running his hands through his gently wind-tangled curls and straightening George's too-big denim jacket, reading through his phone which beeped with notifications as if just connected to the Wi-Fi.

Matty pulled out his bag of things from through the car window and a stick out of a fresh pack of cigarettes and George felt a little helpless.

"I'm going."

"Yeah."

"Aren't you gonna go? Long drive, right?"

"Right, yeah. Take care."

"You too, Georgie. I'll message you."

George starts the car and begs for more time, but his distance from Matty was growing already, one little step back at a time. "You better. Have fun, Matty."

Matty waved goodbye and casually walked into the building. George watched him for a second longer than he thought he should, then he was moving, driving his black secondhand car away from where his heart is.

**/ /**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back
> 
> no i wasn't planning anything during my long absence sorry i have attention span and commitment issues
> 
> life is happening and i found more mattyxgeorge fic
> 
> so u r getting more pining george obviously
> 
> stream trust3000 (no rome) and maniac (conan gray)
> 
> love u <3
> 
> taylor xx
> 
> edit: George's feelings give me pain and a desire to make things different. For better or worse, I'm just not sure yet.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snogging, smoking, and driving down the South Downs.

Matty was calling Rome after the video call with his brother ended, and Rome's faint blush settled high on his cheekbones as he recalled the conversation he's only had previous.

"Hey love," he greets casually, tucking the ends of his stray bangs behind his ear. He needed a haircut soon.

_"Hey, you home?"_

"Yeah, Lock's not picking me up until maybe... tennish?"

_"Mind if I waste your time til then?"_

Rome hummed. "Sure, when?"

_"I dunno... maybe if you open your door, then, now."_

Rome all but dropped everything (even the call) to get the door as his doorbell rang after Matty's statement, taking a breath before opening it.

"Hey," Matty greets Rome with a relieved smile.

"Come in, how long have you been standing there?"

"Not long, really. George dropped me off."

Rome closed the door behind them as Matty stepped in.

Matty is becoming a bit of a constant presence in Rome's flat, even more so than Sherlock herself, who is Rome's best mate.

The two tend to snog and chat and smoke a lot, Matty much more than Rome on the latter. On more alcoholic evenings, they fuck, then talk even more about existential and sentimental things most openly afterwards and pretend nothing happened the morning after.

It's never premeditated or planned; it's just what they end up doing. This time though, they didn't really have time for much, as they had to leave in about two hours.

"D'you wanna put a movie on or something?" Rome asked as Matty settled on his couch, his things only a little haphazardly set down beside Rome's things which were by the door.

"Not really feeling like it. Have you got coffee though?"

"Two sugars and an insane amount of cream, right?"

"Don't judge my taste for coffee. It's nice. Your boring black is boring."

"Black coffee is also nice!" Rome huffed. He placed the grounds of coffee over the filter and filled the coffee machine with water and switched it on.

"It is, when you eat it with sweets," Matty replied, getting up from the couch to follow Rome into the kitchen.

"It's good on it's own. You're just weak." Rome leaned on the counter to watch the coffee drip.

"Pretty sure weak's something I'm anything but." Matty looked around for mugs.

"Your coffee's weak."

"Don't argue about coffee with a barista, _Rome_."

"Let's just agree that coffee is good, _Matty_," Rome said, making a mockery of the other boy's tone.

Matty set the mugs he'd discovered just beside the machine and they both watched the liquid drip into the foggy carafe in comfortable silence.

The click of a glittery pink lighter is heard in the silence of the room, and Rome's head snapped up at the sound.

"That's mine," the younger boy stated simply.

"Yeah. Sorry, d'you want it back?"

Rome lips curved up into a small smile. "No, you can keep it."

Coffee is soon prepared and a few cigarettes are shared, with conversation in between. They've been discussing a loose bucket list for the trip for over an hour now.

**/ /**

Matty ended up sprawled on the couch, his head resting on Rome's lap. Rome's blunt nails scratched at the other boy's scalp, soothing him as they passed cigarettes back and forth.

"Damn, Lock's lucky to have Rachel."

"Why'd you say so?" Rome asked as he held the cigarette against Matty's lips.

"They can go to Paris together. Something's just so romantic about that."

"You could've easily gotten a girlfriend for this trip, just saying."

"That's fun until we have to focus on not fucking. Contrary to popular belief, I actually enjoy other things than sex."

Rome had a passing thought. "Then we can pretend. Just on Paris. And we can be as romantic as you want."

Matty looked up at Rome with raised brows, surprised at the suggestion. "You're serious?"

"If you want." Rome would probably give Matty anything, if he was being honest. He was nice and pretty and he pretty often deserved it.

Rome had a bit of a thing for treating (read as: spoiling) his friends whenever he could. It really was entertaining to think he'd do the same for Sherlock. Entertaining, yes, though unrealistic.

"Fucking hell, you're too nice."

Rome shrugged. "Nah. I mean, why should we both be third wheels to Rachel and Lock on fucking _Paris_ when we can get together for a day?"

"I'm gonna be your boyfriend for a day, holy shit."

"Don't make it weird," Rome mumbled around the third shared cigarette, a blush suddenly high on his cheeks.

"You suggested it," Matty countered, with a shrug, taking the last drag out of the cigarette after Rome's turn.

They get on their phones for the rest of the time after they ran out of things to discuss. Rome's hands absentmindedly messed up Matty's hair, pulling soft sighs and pleased noises directly from Matty's lips whenever he tugs at the curls just right.

It was all thoughtless and probably something that wouldn't happen anywhere else than this very flat, considering how borderline sexual it seemed.

Matty nearly jumped out of his skin as his phone rang, loudly, making him drop his phone on his face.

"Fuck!"

Rome snorted out a laugh and picked up the device, answering the call for the other boy and putting it on speaker.

_"Matty? This is Rachel."_ Lock's long 'hi' is heard in the background.

Matty answered with an indecipherable grumble.

_"I was just wondering where you were, because Lock and I just drove by yours. It's was quiet."_

"Hey, it's Rome. He's at mine. What time will you be here?"

_"Hey Rome! Nice to hear from you, love. We'll be there ASAP. You both better be waiting out by then, cuz I can't wait to get this on the road. Bring your CD's."_

"What car are you bringing?" Matty piped in.

_"I'm driving __Chel's__ van,"_ Lock said.

"That's nice. Looking forward to driving it."

_"In your dreams, Healy!" said Rachel quite loudly._

_"We just got through a stoplight. Rome, you know the one. See you soon_," came Lock's voice, and the call ended.

**/ /**

And so Rome was outside, a bag slung over his shoulder and another cigarette between his fingers as he exchanged smoke and saliva with Matty in a hidden-away corner.

"Always so fucking noisy, aren't you?" Rome whispered roughly against Matty's lips, referring to the little moans Matty couldn't keep in.

He then smothered Matty's resulting whine with his tongue before the sound of Rachel's van parted them. Matty looked down at Rome with dazed awe and the other boy's cheeks were a tinted in a brilliant flush.

Rome gathered himself together and tugged Matty from the discreet alley and to the van, flicking the ashes of his cigarette as he walked.

"You guys excited?" Rachel asked cheerily as they took their seats at the back.

"Yeah," Rome responded almost automatically. He rolled down the window to get another drag into his lungs.

"Please finish that, like, now."

"Sorry Rachel," Rome said sincerely while Matty wordlessly continued with the rest of Rome's cigarette, finally calming down after their earlier encounter.

"You okay, Matt-Matt?" Rachel said after a while. Lock drove on, humming to the radio softly playing.

"Yeah, brilliant. Did you girls have breakfast already?"

"Lock and I, are getting drive thru. Aren't we, babe?"

"Yeah. Do you boys want anything? My treat."

"No thanks," Matty said politely with a shake of his head. "George made me some today."

"You are _so_ married."

"He hasn't really proposed yet, so, humph." Matty crossed his arms for dramatic effect, pretending to be upset.

"And you're really telling me he's not your boyfriend?" Rome piped in teasingly, like he wasn't just making Matty moan in a hidden alleyway only minutes ago. This made Matty's cheeks grow really hot suddenly.

"Guen, breakfast?"

"Sure. By the way, can we get Chinese for lunch? I _need_ some fucking rice. It's crazy."

"Sure babe. Haven't had Chinese in a while either."

They got pancakes and sausage for breakfast before they continued to drive out of the city, picking up lunch for the drive to the South Downs.

**/ /**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi babes im still alive
> 
> addressing no one on particular barely anyone's reading this lol
> 
> sorry if it's kinda crappy but i did sum research and just,, just so u know their route for this lil road trip thing yea?
> 
> london (current) - south downs - newhaven - dieppe - paris
> 
> i have never been to a road trip. much less been to anywhere outside the ***. so can u imagine how much shit i'm making up as i go?
> 
> we'll say hi to the tree later maybe
> 
> love y'all vote n comment see u later darlings bye - ***


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning ig? not v detailed recreational drug use

It was well into the afternoon by the time they were near their first official stop. Matty was now the one driving, leaving a begrudging Rachel for Lock to deal with at the back.

They'd stopped for lunch about an hour ago after they got out of traffic. The GPS currently indicated that they could arrive at the hotel they booked into within the next half hour, so that was comforting.

Rome was sat beside Matty as he was the one bringing the CD's. They all had a common denominator when it came to music, so it was pretty easy to pick out songs to play and make the seemingly repetitive road bearable.

"How much longer, love?"

"About ten."

"Alright."

The sun was still high and hot, leaving George's jacket unworn on Matty's lap. As Matty drives through a bend, he idly wonders how George was doing.

"Hey Lock, are you sure the hotel booking's taken care of?" Rome inquired as he fussed with his nails.

"Yeah. I mean, worst case scenario, we sleep in the van and pay for parking."

"I need to lie down like right now," Matty complained.

"We all do, drama queen," Rachel commented with an eye roll. "Maybe if you hadn't volunteered to drive you wouldn't be so damn tired."

"We're nearly there though. It's so beautiful out here."

"We can have a short hike after we have a little lie-down in our rooms, what d'you think?" Lock suggested.

"A _hike_, really?"

"The view's really beautiful out here. We can watch the sunset, take pictures," Rachel lowers her voice to a whisper. "...get high. Just have fun. We're not rushing."

"Lock, you were being serious about the weed?" Rome asked, looking back at Sherlock with shocked amusement.

"Mm-hm. Hidden in the depths of Chel's handbag. No one's gonna suspect her; look at how innocent she looks."

"Let it be known that I had nothing to do with the transaction to acquire this."

The fairly small hotel they were headed to was in sight now, and Matty was already celebrating.

**/ /**

After they parked, they checked in, paying for an overnight stay for two rooms with a card. Rachel and Lock were in one room, so obviously Rome and Matty were together in the other.

Rome was at the balcony, staring off at the beautiful landscape away from the city, while Matty was lying down with George's jacket resting on his shoulders and contacting his best friend.

_"Hello. Matty?"_ George's voice was comforting and familiar even through the phone.

"Hey G, how you doing?" Matty asked casually, toying with his curls.

_"Okay. I just got here, actually. You?"_

"We're at a hotel in the South Downs. We're staying overnight. Sharing the room with Rome."

Matty could hear George hum lowly, a comforting sound to his ears. He felt something he couldn't identify, but he pushed it down. _"I hope you're having a good time. Why'd you call?"_

"No reason, really. How was the drive?"

_"Just fine. Not much traffic on the way. Everything's pretty much the same here really."_

"I'm not missing anything I hope?"

_"If you were here, you'd know."_

"Don't guilt me into going, it's not gonna fucking work."

_"Worth a try. I saw Marika around. Do you still remember her?"_

Matty hummed. Marika was a childhood friend of theirs. She was nice, but despite their long-time friendship, Matty didn't think she'd miss him.

_"She recognized me. I might visit her tomorrow. Catch up a little. By the way, Louis says hello."_

Rome stepped in just as Matty's expression softened. It didn't really take long to figure out who he was talking to.

"How is he?"

_"He's alright. Skinnier than I remember. Just like you then. It's really quite concerning."_

"God, I miss him." Matty's voice was emotional suddenly.

Rome couldn't help but feel like he's intruding, so he lightly brushed his fingertips against Matty's shoulder and gestured to the door. Matty nodded quickly, his bottom lip tucked beneath crooked teeth. He looked ready to cry. 

Rome almost wanted to stay, but George was there on the phone, so he believed Matty should be alright. He closed the door behind him and sought for the girls' room.

_"Come with me next time," _George said gently. _"Even just for a day, Matty."_

"I'll think about it."

_"Okay. What are you doing today?"_

And Matty was back to seeming alright. "Having a 'little hike,' Rachel said. Her girlfriend brought weed, so that's going to be pretty interesting."

_"You better not get into any trouble. I can't just drop everything and get you, you know?"_

George and Matty keep talking until the sun hung low on the horizon and knocking is heard on his door.

"Gotta go, Georgie. Sorry."

_"It's alright. Talk to you soon. Have fun. Love you."_

Matty couldn't help a smile. "Love you too, you sappy tree."

Somewhere miles away, George clutched his phone to his chest. Yeah, he's smitten.

**/ /**

They all checked out before dinnertime. The old lady at the front desk glared at Matty's outfit, which consisted of an old band tee and a floral skirt. Matty was too busy not giving a fuck to notice it though.

He also wore his same old black sneakers and his curls were free and as neat as hand-combing could make it, which wasn't much.

They were quite an odd bunch, really, so Matty wasn't the only one subjected to the glares and confused looks.

Rome's hair was wavy and light pink still, neatly combed to the side. His neck tattoo was visible and he wore a white tank top (which revealed two tattoos below each of his elbows, depicting coordinates of his hometown*) and ripped jeans.

Rachel had her blonde hair in a neat bun and she wore a violet summer dress. She was easy to overlook if not for her general proximity to her girlfriend.

Sherlock was pretty tall, so she's quite the eye-catcher. Her chocolate brown hair was the same as ever, cropped short and unstyled. She was dressed in a yellow graphic tee and shorts and the simple ring piercings on her ear glinted with her movement.

They walked out of the hotel together and drove the van as far as they could go before hiking their way up.

By the time they're near a cliff that overlooked salty waters, they stopped, sitting down to watch the summer sun sink into the horizon. Rachel rested her head on Sherlock's shoulder as the sky change colours, and Matty sat by Rome.

Matty couldn't help feeling envious of what they had. He turned to Rome, wondering whether his offer still stood. He kind of wished it wasn't just for Paris.

Rome looked back at him, a small smile on his lips. He held a bunch of wildflowers in hand which he picked on the way up here. Rome was beautiful.

"You alright, love?"

"Yeah, just thinking." Well that wasn't a lie.

"Of what?"

Matty turned to Rachel and Lock, who were lost in their own world at the moment, and Rome understood.

Rome's hand brushed against Matty's, making Matty turn back to him. The flowers that hand used to hold lay between them now.

"We could fall in love right now," Rome suggested softly.

Matty wanted it. It was selfish and risky, but Rome offered to. There was an option to say yes.

"We could." Matty gulped his guilt down. Guilt of what exactly, he wasn't sure.

Rome delicately tucked a white wildflower behind Matty's ear and intertwined their touching hands. That felt nice.

By the time the sun had disappeared from the horizon, Lock had rolled them a spliff to share. They passed it between them and waited for the weed to take effect, which didn't really take long.

A warm breeze passes over them as they laid on the grass. Stars had begun to show up on the dark sky and Matty's hand was in Rome's. His curls were threaded with lots of pretty wildflowers.

They all talked of pointless things that seemed important and interesting in their current state for what felt like a very, very long time. They made up constellations and songs and giggled at nearly everything.

They drove down to the hotel as soon as someone felt sober enough to drive some nearly two hours later, and that someone was Rachel.

By the time they're back they were feeling really hungry so they had dinner that was at least halfway decent brought up to their rooms.

**/ /**

Rome and Matty's room had two beds and air conditioning you could only either turn on and off but never adjust. The summer evening was uncomfortably hot, so the AC had to be on.

Matty couldn't sleep.

Rome was peacefully asleep despite being covered in what must be a hundred layers. The younger boy didn't like the cold much, but Matty was so sure he'd pass out if they didn't turn the AC on, so they reached this compromise.

Matty felt _too_ cold. The AC temperature here was the same as his usual back in his own room, so Matty wondered what changed.

It occurred to him that the hotel AC must be broken, but upon wearing his— _George's—_ jacket, he realized. The cold back in his own room was bearable because of George.

If not George, he always had someone else to share body heat with. It was such a normal thing for him now and couldn't believe he took it for granted every time.

Unable to sleep, he made his way to the balcony, to be met by the heat. He shrugged off the jacket but kept it close, taking his notebook, a pack of cigarettes, and Rome's lighter with him and stayed there for a while without actually lighting a smoke.

Pages of Matty's journal was then filled with his messy scrawl of handwriting bearing his thoughts. It was mostly a flowery rendition of his complaint regarding the summer heat and bad air conditioning and the obvious lack of someone to hold him.

A scream cuts him off of his thoughts, and Matty looked around for the source. It wasn't extremely loud and was more likely of shock or fear. It takes him a while to realize it was Rome, who sat up in bed, breathing heavily.

Matty was beside Rome, who looked genuinely terrified. He soothed the other boy with a reminder of his own presence, telling Rome that they were alright.

It doesn't take long until Rome is calm again, with Matty carding his fingers through the other boy's hair and whispering little comforting things. Matty is reminded of Louis as he did this, but focused on Rome before his thoughts wandered too far.

"Thank you." Rome's voice was a mere whisper, but Matty heard it clearly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it was just a silly nightmare. Did I wake you? I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, actually, I couldn't really sleep."

"Not used to being out?"

"I guess," Matty said with a shrug. It wasn't really far from the truth. "I miss my bed."

There was silence for a while, comfortable and pleasant. Matty realized he'd practically wrapped himself around Rome, who now slumped against his chest.

"Funny how you only realize you take everyday things for granted when you're taken away from them."

Matty slowly realized that was in reply to his statement, and not a jab at his earlier thoughts. "...yeah."

"I fucking hate my nightmares," Rome says. "They only come every now and then but they're pretty intense when they do."

Matty hummed, unsure what to say.

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

"Too cold," Matty admitted.

"Why'd you give me your duvet then?" Rome asked with a little giggle.

"I was trying to prove a point."

"Matty, has anybody ever told you you're an idiot?" Rome said playfully, looking up at Matty.

"All my friends have done so at least once." Rome closed his eyes as he listened to Matty talk.

"Do you want to sleep, love?" Rome asks.

"Don't wanna move."

"Then stay." So Matty did.

**/ /**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *unsure if it actually depicts his hometown irl i jus remember they're coordinates and they're super cool tats
> 
> disclaimer: i have never been high or witnessed anyone getting high everything drug-related here is based on textbook knowledge don't get high illegally ok
> 
> it's clear we have no regard for accuracy here
> 
> anw i miss writing the pine tree y'all
> 
> haha geddit
> 
> cuz George is a tree pining for Matty
> 
> ok bye luv u


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